Stream of Conscious Rage

So I head into the bike today to play because the game has still been ok and I just am not willing to give in to going to commerce yet.  I was supposed to maybe take the day off, but honestly I didn't have much else to do and it just didn't seem like I REALLY needed it and I am not playing Saturday Sunday or Tuesday so I figured it'd be a good idea to play.  So we get the cards in the air around 10:20 and that's all well and good, and the game is pretty much fun but then eventually my phone starts blowing up and it's Kimmy, first telling me there is a great short 60 that I should go play, then a few minutes later letting me know that Eagle will be landing briefly and wants to play simply the 1 and the 2, not something absurd like the 4 and the 8.  So these two reports are enough for me to race over to Commerce only to find myself shut out of the Eagle game.  That's not so bad, the 40s look good and the (now lone) 60 is also amazing so I wait it out and get a seat in the 40 and take my blind and...get called for the 60 literally 4 seconds too late.  So I play the lap, blah blah blah, and sit down in what can only be described as magically unicorn and pixie dust fairytale poker game.  I mean really, if I could sit in that game all day for the rest of the year I'd make a quarter of a million dollars this year and everything would be right with the world.  Zero chance I was less than $100/hour winner, just zero, even though I had already played like shit three or four times at the bike (I fell for Annie's reverse tell and tried a bluff, I gave Randy some free cards, blah blah blah) and was clearly not at my absolute best.

So of course I get myself buried so fast I don't even know what fucking hit me.  DHL is on a rampage (he always delivers).  I'm quickly into the game for a cool $10k (that's the trick with the zoo...you need at least 3 racks on the table to make it reasonably zoo-like so if you're stuck a couple racks all of a sudden you get in SUPER deep) and just stone cold cannot win a pot.  The jack and the ten in a button vs big blind hand with the J57ss-J board?  Cannot beat the jack and the eight.  The King and the king, both red, on the 432ddd flop?  Drawing dead to the running full HOW.  Blah blah blah I get buried, then I win some hand because holy fucking shit these people are terrible (the pot is capped 4 ways, by me, and the board reads J53J and FOUR OF THEM call me on the turn.....this would be less exceptional if I didn't have the deck crippled with quad jacks) and eventually though it comes apart...the centre?  It cannot hold.  DHL racks up his $6k win and Mr. Lee decides he's going to take his seat.  It'll be the third time he's moved, and I challenged him on the first one and then just let him have the second one (shouldn't have done that) even though it kind of hurt me a little. So this time I tell him no I want it and he basically tells me I never challenged him (which is true regarding his most recent change...but I did challenge the one before that) and eventually he calls me a liar to my face and it's everything I can do not to just attack him violently.  He is perhaps the biggest piece of shit going in an environment that is just full of world class specimens, and to boot if I hit him I'll get barred and won't ever have to come to Commerce again!  What could be better?!!?  But somehow some way I just take the seat, don't hit the man, and eventually realize I need to get the fuck out of there.

To the real rage now.  The 5 is stone cold fucked, but I decide I can take surface streets to get around it.  LOL yeah, great idea Jesse.  As I'm parked on Telegraph and eventually make the right on garfield and am checking traffic on my phone I remember the last time I tried to do this and swearing to the lord almighty I would never attempt it again.  But it's too late now, I'm committed, like you read about, and well to make a long story short 40 minutes after I left the building I am literally 4 miles away stopped at subway eating a sandwich.  My plan is to browse the web on my fancy chromebook, but there are two problems.  First of all, it's 60 degrees inside the subway, too cold for even my taste, and second of all, and this is truly one of the most unbelievably coincidences of all time....aside....

I probably put this story up here but in case I did not.....the fish who got me barred from the bike (he's back, btw, and selectively chopping as usual) makes a big deal about someone buying him coffee.  So one day I'm playing 20/40 and this porter walks up to me and tells me I'm buying his coffee.  I look at him and respond "no, I don't want to buy his coffee" and hand the man $3.  He then proceeds to go directly to the fish and complain that I only tipped him 65 cents, and that was no doubt part of the unintelligible gibberish said fish spewed at me at some point or another.  So...

THAT PORTER IS EATING A SANDWICH AT SUBWAY.  I swear to you, he's there, eating a sandwich, and he sees me and I see him and I just turn away and walk out of the building with my sandwich. Every man has his breaking point;  that was mine.  Eventually I got back on the freeway and got him in the licketty split time of 100 minutes (curiously the same length of time I was shut out of a game earlier this week).  Seriously, have you ever been driving home and decided you needed to stop for dinner, on just a regular commute?  Has that every happened