Fast forward to ten minutes ago and I'm hungry and gonna be here like 2 more hours at least, so I decided to go foraging. The fruit shipment just came yesterday so I walk to the secret baskets but...no bananas already! Gasp! How do these people eat all the bananas so quickly!! I settle for a pear, but really wanted to put peanut butter on something AND much to my delight there are some peanut M&Ms left (usually gone by noon but I suspect that not only is nobody here but people are trying to be good before the gorging) so I get a handful of those. Then I walk over to the other kitchen (also no bananas as I suspected they always go first) but get myself a handful of saltine crackers in the little two cracker packs (maybe 8 crackers?) and scoop some peanut butter into a bowl (partially hydrogenated peanut butter though!). At this point I have peanut butter and crackers, a pear and M&Ms. That can't be consumed without coffee, right? So I walk back to my desk, drop off my food and return with my mug and make myself a half caff with two keurig cups. Yup, I'm THAT guy.
These are my problems. These are the things that interrupt my existence. in my defense Danielle brought a keurig machine to work and sat it next to her desk because the $6000 espresso machine Google installed was too far away. And now their new building has a barista. Like. For real. A fucking barista. When I was going through my "quitting poker am I going back into software" crisis 15 months ago I jokingly said I could be the new Google barista and she looked me dead in the eye without missing a beat not realizing it was even supposed to be a joke (or not caring) and said "No way, you're not qualified for that job" and I was like "...."