Sunday, June 26, 2016

And...we're back

I can't imagine there are many people left reading, we go.

I quit my software job 3 months ago and just spent 2 weeks in Vegas for the WSOP.  I did these things because...well, because I wanted to basically.  I'm going to move forward doing things for that exact reason, and really none other.  Here comes a list of true statements.

I am addicted to Boom Beach and Clash of Clans.  They are both fun.

I have played over 500 hours of poker this year and I am killing it.

Sports betting?  Free money.

Death Donkey?  Champion.

I'm working on health and fitness because they should never be less than like priority 3 for anybody ever.  I am currently a giant fat ass, but I will lose the weight and keep the strength because I can.

That's about it.  I'm going to write more, I promise, because writing is who I am and I enjoy it.

Friday, January 29, 2016

Year in Review

The blog isn't dead, per say, I just haven't felt like writing.  I haven't felt like doing much of anything lately, but I do think I'm sort of getting there.  I took the time to roll my 2015 stats into my lifetime ones yesterday, and as usual found some interesting nuggets there in.  As Babar said, ship the nuggets

2015 was, I guess, the first losing year of my "career" (although to say I still do this as a career is obviously a misnomer.  I think I've played less than 1000 hours in the last 30 months).  Overall it breaks down like this:

472 hours, -$13577, -33.21 bets

So obviously I had some bet sizing issues.  Looks like I lost a little playing 1/2 (20 bets or so) and pretty badly at 60 (over 100 bets) in 120 hours or so.  Other than that it was pretty non-eventful with just not running very well (winning like 100 bets) in smaller games over 350 hours.  It appears I had a 7k downer in the Hustler 25 in 40 hours, which is somewhat noteworthy if not special.  It also appears I won 16 racks in the bike 20 in just over 100 hours, finishing the year winning 15/16 sessions.

Another fun tidbit....on April 26th I was up $8100 for the year through 335 hours.  So in the last 8 months of the year I logged less than 140 hours and lost almost $22k.  Solid work.

Trolling through all the data from my lifetime sheets it's tough not to put on the rose colored glasses and say "if only I knew now what I knew then" blah blah blah.  I have to admit it has been tempting to give it another go, at least lately.  I mean, in many ways I did poker "correctly", in that I treated it very much like a job and was super professional about it.  That could well be why I survived.  But in some other ways that's all wrong, since a ton of what you're supposed to get out of poker is not having a job, and I didn't really take advantage of that.  Thinking on it all now, what if I did move up by the casinos, didn't bother with trying to take shots at big games, and tried to make life as easy as possible.  There are a pair of games that run every day that I have beaten for around $50/hour (historically....stats from 2011 don't have a whole lot to do with anything today, but objectively these games are VERY soft).  What if I didn't have a schedule to stick to?  What if I played weekend evenings whenever I wanted?  I dunno....

The main reason my blog has slowed down is that I'm no longer comfortable with my life being a complete open book (both because I've changed my viewpoint, and some of the things just can't be blogged about....obviously I'd never put much of anything honest about my software career up here).  But I will admit that I've been hearing the advice of the experts a little more loudly than usual of late:

Friday, December 11, 2015

Being In That Place

We had an all day "learning" event today at work (Agile, if anyone cares) and I got a got a quote that I really loved, and am about to butcher (about art, I think):

"the goal is not to "...", but to " ....." so you can be a place where "..." is inevitable"

I mumbled to myself, immediately, that "that's just like writing!" and my product owner looked at me and kind of laughed and I said no seriously that's how writing works.  And it's true.  You can't force writing, just like I promised myself I never would, you can only be in a place where it makes sense to write.  So I'm writing again, just a little tonight cause it's hard and weird and I should be asleep but I promise to come back with some awesome shit.  Or at least to recognize when I'm the right place to peck out some keys.

PS - I won an award today at work.  No shit, I was declared one of the most enthusiastic adopters of Agile Processes at EMC and am apparently going to get to go to a workshop to become a Scrum Master (a job function at which I will kick ass).  So yeah, life is OK.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Everything is Easy

I'm sitting in Hank's kitchen right now drinking coffee and farting around on the internet.  I thought about driving up to the city early or playing poker at Bay 101 but I really just don't want to do either one yet so I'm just....chilling.  Things have just gotten really easy, and I'm not exactly sure why but I'm just going to run with it.  I was in the fourth row of general admission standers last night for Dashboard and Third Eye Blind and it was awesome, I'm going again tonight, flying back tomorrow, going to work, and then attending the make up of last week's rain out (yes, a concert in Orange County got rained out) tomorrow evening at Verizon.  Why am I doing this?

When I bought three of my tickets in March I told myself it was because they might never tour again and you just don't miss it when your favorite band might never tour again.  But that's not enough.  I thought maybe it was because I embrace the "do hard things" whenever possible, but that's not it either.  Do I love them that much?  I mean sure, they are awesome and my favorite band, but do I really need to see the same set 5 times (where they are actually skipping most of my favorites)? Nope.  I figured it out a few mornings ago.

I gave Third Eye Blind to Danielle.  She had barely (or never) even heard of them when we met and I turned her into a rabid fan (the same thing happened with Soul Asylum because of just one song, actually).  I think (and this is fucking sick), I'm trying to take them back.  I'm trying to say "you know what"?  I am a bigger fan.  Did she show up for six shows in three weekends?  Did she fly to SF for 48 hours to watch a pair in their home city?  Shit I don't know, maybe, but...I did.

On top of that it's just plain fun.  Last night in the fourth row of the masses it was just...amazing.  The girl behind me literally knew every word to every song they played.  The lead singer from Dashboard said "I did learn one thing on this tour.  Third Eye Blind fans can fucking SING".  During the set change we actually did just that.  So I'm doing it.  It's crazy it's nuts it makes no sense it's a waste of resources but that doesn't matter.

Life is about the generation of stories.

-  Jesse, circa 2004

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Best I've Ever Been

I'm making it, actually.  It has taken months (over a year), but I am actually making it.  I am figuring out what's important to me, figuring out my value system, how to deal with the faulty wiring in my head, and most importantly when to give and not give a fuck.  Not really playing cards that much cause it doesn't make sense.  Still heavy into sports.  Taking the job very seriously.

Vegas was awesome.  I am smashing the weight room (thanks for the bet Vic...I did lose 8 pounds but it's time to hulk smash that shit again).  I'm the captain of the Oracle Dolphins again and gonna swim 11s all day (faster than I ever was).  Not really dating but that'll change soon in 4 weeks one way or another.  Life is...pretty much great.

Doing 5 third eye blind shows in 16 days.  Seems reasonable right?