Two Gems From LA's Friendliest

I had occasion to play some off shift hours at Commerce today, and the experience was...nostalgic. As "good" as the Bike 40 has been of late, it simply cannot compare to the reckless endangerment of financial instruments you see in...bum bum ba....the commerce 20. I played 40 for a bit but the game was meh and I pledged that I wouldn't play 60 because I really wasn't in the right frame of mind to torch $5K in two hours (that image is coming up a lot) so instead of moving up I moved down. And I mean...wow. They cold-call like it's their job. They call 3 bets with a pair draw and then check when they get there. They just are plain awful. To wit:

A man raises the pot up front and some other people do some things and I 3 bet out of the big blind because I have cornered the market on red aces (a valuable commodity no doubt in this economy). The flop comes:

J54dd

And I resist the urge to fist pump and instead simply bet. The man raises and for some reason every other player in the pot (and there were quite few) opts not to continue. We're heads-up now, and against a strong player I could consider just calling and putting in a check/raise on the turn. But oh no, my friends, not in the Commerce 20 against some random Asian fish-ball. I 3 bet, and he 4-bets swiftly and angrily. Through the din of set-up calls and chip shuffling and dealer beratement (is that even a word? it can't be....) the voice of MikeL comes through loud and clear.

"They just never have it. They'd always wait to raise the turn with a made hand. Don't stop"

I 5-bet. He 6-bets.

"Can't stop. Won't stop"

I 7-bet. He stops. As I'm congratulating myself for not only winning the pissing contest but also likely having the best hand, the dealer destroys my efforts:

J54dd-2d

Aiyah! I check and he bets instantly and smugly. I call, wondering what I'll do if I mi...

J54dd-2d-7d

LOL why would I worry about missing? I haven't lost a pot in a month (OK, other than the 6-rack torching at Commerce last week) why would I start now? I check, he bets, I raise, and he instantly calls. Then the banter begins:

Him: "I flop a set"

Me: "Oh really?"

Him: "You don't believe me"

Me: "I seven bet the flop. What do you think?"

Him: "......"

I shared the hand with Pete and he agreed that the man bet/calling the river with a set here on the four flush board (not really the calling part...more the betting) is just freaking absurd. He COULD MAYBE PERHAPS JUST POSSIBLY have actually flopped a set that turned into a small (5 high I think) one card flush. But really that's the only possible explanation. I'd lay 10:1 or more he turned a flush, and through the din again that voice comes back to me...."See, they just never have it. Good job"

So then we move on to a hand that could only be played at Commerce. I raise under the gun because I have kings (did I mention I never lose any more? It's fucking sweet you all should try it sometime) and like 7 people call and we see a flip of:

KJ4ccs

Of all black cards. I bet, two players call, some other hands find the muck, and the action is on the big blind and....

KJ4ccs-Ts

Wait. What? That's right the dealer has done his thing a little too early and now we're not really sure what to do. Like, sure the big blind was kind of hiding his cards and didn't call time or anything but I mean really, dealer, really. Your job is not that hard. No one had berated you for like 14 or 15 seconds, you were probably in very high spirits, why did you have to go and fuck up my hand? Now the floorman comes over, but before he gets there the big blind decides to muck his hand (curious indeed) and the floor makes the idiotic but "correct" (by the book) ruling that the "old" river is now going to be the "new turn". So the dealer burns and turns:

KJ4ccs-Jd

And I actually laugh out loud. That card is just so fantastic on every level. I virtually cannot lose the hand, and to boot I'm probably going to score bonus action. I bet, my 7-bet victim folds, and the other player obliges me with a raise. I three bet quickly, he calls, and the dealer....starts to shuffle the stub. I suddenly realize that's what he's supposed to do (the floorman hasn't said a word to him...he obviously makes this mistake quite often), because he's giving the premature turn card a chance to come back out on the river. Live players seem to like this resolution to the problem as it changes things "the least" and I guess it's sort of OK especially in this case where the guy who hadn't acted yet mucked, and to quote my mother it's certainly not the hill I want to die on so we continue. As he's laboriously shuffling (dealers can't even shuffle these days....seriously that box has made them so lazy) it occurs to me that the only appropriate outcome here is for the case jack to fall off the deck.....

KJ4ccs-Jd-Jh

I check and my opponent...checks?! Flabbergasted I roll my hand. He shakes and scratches his head, trying to figure out what just happened, then mucks complaining that the dealer messed up and he should have made...a straight. They try to explain to him that the turn jack would have come on the river, I would have filled up anyway. He wasn't having it. The man wanted to make a straight, and nothing they were going to convince him that he simply couldn't do it, at least not in this universe. He muttered to himself for 15 minutes, the eventually requested a setup while picking up his chips and wandering off towards the stud games.