Monday, June 6, 2011

All the Way to the Queen

So we're playing 40/80 restricted bet texas poker at the bicycle club, and the game is...terrible. I'm working a double shift because of my Pittsburgh trip later this week (thanks for helping me out BJ) which has had me in the casino on duty for just a shade under 10 hours at this point. The bossman is about to leave, which will reduce the game to a six max lineup of White Chip Eric, Joe Tall, MikeL, DosXX, myself and...Crazy Ivan. Normally I would not sit in such a lineup so late in the day, but a deal's a deal and I'm going to finish out all 5 hours of BJ's shift, and MikeL's constant berating of Eric is almost enough entertainment to justify hanging around in and of itself. Most of the banter is Mike just saying absurd things like "Yup, ace king, there it goes, right into the muck" and Eric not being able to accurately assess if he's being sarcastic or dead serious (in that regard I think he actually has a lot in common with Danielle), but still other things are just brazenly cruel, like "Big surprise, second pair isn't good when I cap the turn you fucking clown." Anyway, Crazy Ivan is rushin' (that's a pretty good joke there, eh? If you didn't get it try reading it one more time) and has run up his last $500 for the day into about $1500, which basically means we have to keep playing a little longer until he loses it. Crazy Ivan is an old Asian man who recently spent something like 4 days straight at the Bike, wondering aimlessly from game to game with various chips and usually sipping a Bud Light. In all honestly I'm extremely concerned for his physical well being, as I'm pretty sure doing what he's doing could actually cause me personally to suffer some sort of heart attack or stroke, and he has to be at least twice my age. But he's back for more and just re-sat in our game with the case five bennies the ATM will let him take out, one for each member of the preposterously talented team of props keeping a game alive personally for him. His most recent absurdity was to slow roll a customer (who promptly quit, leaving us with prop nation and Crazy Ivan) with a flush so heinously that Eric had time to to say "He's slow rolling you, Randy...." during the process. As an aside Eric has the nut seat on Ivan, and he's even left a seat open between the two of them, which is something you can get away with as a luny tunes lag who doesn't chop.

So anyway, I'm ashamed to say that I missed some of the action in this hand, but I think the flop checked through and on the turn the board reads:

k76-9 with a pair of flush draws

And the action goes MikeL checks, bossman bets, Crazy Ivan calls, and Mike calls. The river puts out a jack that completes one of the flushes (I believe the back door one actually) and MikeL just donks, as is his custom in such spots with all kinds of crap. Bossman dutifully folds, and then Crazy Ivan earns his nickname and announces "Raise!" and drunkenly fumbles 16 chips into the pot. Mike advances directly to the tank (does not pass go, does not collect two hundred dollars), saying "See, this one is harder", referring to some fold he made against Eric earlier, or perhaps his bet/3/fold against Joe Tall with AA on the turn, or perhaps his check/call down with AA on a 943cc-Ac board, and then continues muttering to himself. "I think I just lost to some silly straight...but I have a queen in my hand" at which point Eric says "You just have one pair and you're taking this long?" and eventually Mike...folds.

Mike: "You made a straight, right?"
Crazy Ivan: "Yup. All the way to the queen"

Crazy Ivan then proudly rolls the the queen of clubs and the...eight of clubs...for a busted queen high flush draw.

Mike: "That's not a straight!"
Joe Tall: "What a bluff!"
Mike: "Wait wait think he knew he didn't have a straight? No way. Sir, did you know you didn't have a straight"
Crazy Ivan: "I never know"
Mike: "Now that's GTO!"

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