A Day in My Life

Yesterday was a bad day. I'm not really sure why it was so bad, other than the fact that I tried to stay past traffic even though I knew I needed to quit, lost $1000 in 45 minutes, then left and drove home through awful traffic anyway. So I was in a pretty bad mood when Danielle eventually got home (she's working the 6am to 10pm schedule this week basically) and that wasn't very good of me. Right now I feel basically just as shitty as I felt yesterday, and I'm trying to figure out why. The simple answer is that there is no one distinct reason I want to take a baseball bat to the skull of random passers by. Rather, it's a cumulative result of a day that could accurately be described (to quote my 8th grade football coach) as a piss poor failed abortion. So ladies and gentlemen, I give you a recap of a day in my life:

9am

I wake up feeling exhausted because despite going to bed quite early (around midnight) I didn't sleep well because (I think) I have a caffeine problem. Also my dog snores and the pipes in our building make a machine gun like sound when the people upstairs take a shower, which is usually around 6am.

9:15am

I'm logged into full tilt with my breakfast in front of me. Things go reasonable well in my 90 minute session, although it takes a good while to get into any decent seats. I spend the startup time checking my email, updating my well, and mocking batman on 2p2. Eventually I end up logging something around 500 hands of 2/4 and 3/6.

11:30am

Having opted to skip the gym and get my shit moving, I take the dogs for a walk. We employ the services of a dog walker Monday through Thursday, but on Friday in theory Danielle is able to get home early so we don't have her come. This means I try not to leave too early, etc, etc both to be nice to Danielle and because sometimes she can't get home.

11:40am

Already in my car, I check traffic and note that the 5 north is already closed for business. It is after all Friday and the road only has 4 lanes, so there is no good reason I should expect traffic on it to be moving more than 15 MPH, what with this being Las Angeles and all. Since I'm making every conceivable effort not to play at Hawaiian Gardens, and since I have to take the long way around anyway, I decide to make a trip to the Bike. The game there is often fantastic, and since I'm trying to get them to give me a job it is obviously in my best interest to try to play there.

12:30pm

Traffic was was pretty reasonable on the route I chose (which is admittedly the reason I chose it) to zig zag through the LA freeway "system", and I get into the game immediately by kicking out a prop. Unfortunately the game is just terrible, with no less than 5 players in it who fancy themselves professionals. Most of them are not exactly rock stars, but they do know about not cold calling raises and various other straight forwardly correct things, and after just 45 minutes I reluctantly pick up my chips and make a break for Commerce. For the record, I did win 3 bets, a greek salad, and a diet pepsi.

1:40pm

I arrive at Commerce and am 7th up on the board for 20 with only 2 games running. This is not good, and I also list myself for 8/16 (which since Monday has been moved to the top section, resulting in basically one giant freaking disaster since the floormen and chip runners were just BARELY able to keep the 6 or so tables they were in charge of previously in relative order, and now are hopelessly outmatched by as many as 7 additional 8/16 tables filled with people who quite frankly need more attention and don't really know how shit works). Then I run into this guy, and don't manage to ignore him and end up having to listen to him tell the story of him causing "a fuss over there" yesterday. Two days ago apparently a dealer complained that he threw his cards at her. He denies it, and calls her a liar to her face, claiming he was up from the table for almost her entire down (she complained after her down had ended). Now obviously you know who I believe here....but I sit there and smile politely, while he explains that yesterday he ends up getting must moved to her table and says "Oh, the liar is here" and goes on to explain how he manages to get this poor girl to the point that she's unable to deal, can't do her job, and starts CRYING AT THE TABLE, all the while snickering and laughing in a "can you believe this" sort of tone. I want to punch him in the stomach, but instead wish him luck and pretend to get a phone call.

1:45pm

Commerce calls down a new 8/16 and I figure what the heck, I'm not getting a 20 seat anytime soon and grab a seat. As an aside I'm hatching a plan to start playing an orbit of 8/16 on my way out of the casino, since you don't have to post to enter the game. I'm not sure if I want to be "that guy" though, all for whatever $10 a day in expected value or whatever. But this 8/16 session will be sort of on the up and up, except there is a problem. We have a dealer. He has two setups, which he is preparing and about ready to start dealing. And we have 9 asses in 9 seats. What's missing? Chips. Not a chip runner in site (common practice is for one to show up with about 10 racks of whatever chip is needed to start the game). It's commerce, what do you expect? Why on Earth would you ever expect a game to just...start. Someone who works for the casino will find a way to fuck it up. The dealer won't show up. The chip runner won't be there. The floorman won't call down the game. The props won't be around. Trust me, where there is a will, there is a way. So I walk to the cage and buy 5 racks of green chips (it takes me about 35 seconds) and act as the bank for the game. I sell off all the chips and end up with something like $600 in 20s and the game starts shortly before a chip runner arrives to help out. I don't get shorted, but also don't get any tips.

2:10pm

After 15 minutes of 8/16, during which I win $17, I draw the button in a fresh 20/40 game. The session lasts 5 hours total and I make some spectacularly good and terrible plays. I miss a couple of river bets, once when a flush card comes in and I'm first to act, and again when I have like a naked A4s on an AQTddd-8r-6r board and they both check to me on the river. I induce a hilarious river bluff from the table fish, after he open limps the button, the A43r flop checks around, I bet the turn A that puts up two diamonds, he calls, then I check call the river 3 with queen high. The table gasps; I'm left wondering if I was really value betting queen high on the turn, and I think the answer is "sure". I make a sickly fantastic fold, after raising UTG, getting 3 bet, and seeing nit-prop call the big blind. I just call with my KsQd and see a flop of QsTs5h. Nit prop donks and I am mortified. I just call. The 3 bettor raises, nit-prop 3s, and I...muck it. The turn brings an 8s and for a moment I am sad as the action goes bet/call. The river pairs the 5, and they put in 3 bets a piece, with QQ and TT. I play sofa king good!

All the while I fight the constant battle for food that the Commerce top section has become. They didn't add any more waitresses and the hordes of 8/16 players just can't get enough of the free food (it wasn't free for them before) and well at this point you're lucky if the waitress even slows down to tell you she has too many orders and will be back; most of the time they just walk past you. I do manage to eat though, and that is good, and do manage to eventually get a table change, which was perhaps a mistake but worked out for the best because I got luck on who came out of the must move. My dinner order was actually hilarious, going something like this:

Me: "Can I see the specials"

Her: Hands me a menu

Menu: "Fresh Water eel Dragon Rolls"

Me: "Hmmmm...I'll have the Kimbob Platter" (this is just California rolls)

Her: "But this one has dragon!" (points at special)

Me" "Yeah sorry I'm too white for that" Also, ORLY? I can has dragon?

Eventually she brings my food with low sodium soy sauce (which as we all know has a green label, which indicates goodness, as opposed to the red label of regular soy sauce, indicating badness) and explains that it's better for me. Low sodium soy sauce? Have you ever looked at the ingredients for soy sauce? Do you know what's in it? Fucking sodium! That's the whole fucking point! On top of this I don't have any change and end up tipping her the full $5 instead of my usually $3 nittery. Aiyah.

6:30pm

I'm up about $1700 on the day between my online winnings (yes I checked the results), the bike, and the $1300 I'm up in 20/40. I'm feeling great, and Danielle calls me to ask if I'm going home anytime soon. I say I'm not, and she says some co-workers are going out to dinner and she's going to go but will be home for the dogs. I laugh inside. According to me the dogs need to be walked at 7:30pm, eight hours after their last walk. Danielle uses a much more liberal schedule, claiming 8.5 hours is fine and thend rounding that number to 9, which is basically the same as 9 hours and 15 minutes. This is a point of contention for us, but whatever, there's not much I can do about the fact that she's going to have to rush out of her dinner. I am immediately crushed by bad luck and bad play (perhaps due to a lack of focus, I don't really know), and by 7:15 am pretty sure I need to leave the game, having lost $700 in the last 45 minutes. The coup de grace comes when I 3-bet a guy with ATs whom I probably shouldn't have 3 bet with ATs, get called by the small blind, and see a flop of A84r. The SB calls my bet and I know immediately that he has an ace and that it is probably bigger than mine and that I should check the turn, and I'm all ready to check the turn but BANG 5 of spades now I have the nut flush draw also and I'm thinking well that changes things and bet because I play bad. Of course he check/raises and I call, and of course now that I'm mad at myself for playing bad and flustered and worried about the dogs and traffic for some reason I don't manage to fold the river, and of course he shows me AQ which is pretty much exactly what I knew he had to have. IMR, what else can he have?

7:30pm

I cash out, still up a fair bit for the day but kind of frustrated that things once again ended poorly and that I'm going to have to fight through traffic anyway. I consider playing 8/16 but realize that if I leave now I can get home by 8:30 and help out Danielle, since I know there is really no chance she will be home by then and realistically won't be arriving until after 9 (for the record it's 9:25 and she's not home yet). This is just something that she can't do; she has no ability to predict how long ANYTHING will take. Ever. I don't really understand why she can't do it, as in virtually every other aspect of life she is a genius. But show her a clock and she's just lost in the woods. Anyway I text her and say I'll be leaving and can take care of the dogs. She calls to say they are just sitting down and that she should still be able to make "it" (whatever it is) but asks if it's OK if she stays longer. I laugh again because I know if they are just sitting down she can't be home before 9, but say it's fine, I've got it.

7:45pm

The 5 south is a fucking parking lot (and why shouldn't it be) so I end up taking the 605S all the way to the 22 (literally right past Hawaiian Gardens) because the 91 is also a parking lot (again, why shouldn't it be at 8pm), and even screw up getting off the exit once and ending up on surface streets because I'm not paying attention. In all the drive home takes 55 infuriating minutes, and he headache I have from cutting my caffeine intake down below 100 mg is basically out of control.

8:25pm

There is a note inside our apartment from the dog walker, who was not supposed to come today. It informs me that both dogs pooped successfully, and that Clint was shaking his head in such a way that she suspects he may have an ear infection. I want to scream, but feel that this will upset Tyson and instead decide to write a blog post.

On the day I was gone from my apartment for just under 9 hours and managed to log 6 hours of playing time and put over 70 miles on my car. I'm sitting here like I said ready to bludgeon something, yet actually won over $1000. Don't try this at home kids.