Chip Runner Slays Seven

So I roll up the Hawaiian Gardens today a bit on the late side because Danielle was the guest chef at work today and she invited her mother and I to attend. She actually cooked all of her mom's old recipes and it was really cool, but that's not really relevant to my story here. I sit in the 20/40 game for like 15 minutes before I get a seat in what appears to be a truly amazing 30 game, and for some reason am even allowed to sit in the Jesus seat. So it's a multi-step process and I give Mike the chip runner (who is young, white and like 350% more on top of his shit than every other chip runner in the entire casino) $2K and ask him to preload my seat with 2 racks (I'm afraid someone is going to realize I'm getting the best possible seat and want to be able to claim "chips are down chips are down!" when somebody tries to take it). I skip my UTG hand in the 20 to move over and post between in the 30 (at HG you can enter the game by posting between the button and small blind, something I'm sure I've explained like 400 times) and immediately crack a tricky lagular's AA on a board of JT9-9-7. Like first hand, no waiting, he caps it up preflop and I flop a set turn a boat no problem. Great.

Now at this point the megafish in seat 8 (I'm in the 9 hole, which basically explains why nobody wanted it) asks me if I can just sell him two stacks because he called for chips and the guy hasn't shown up yet. Sure, whatever, no biggie, he hands me 4 bills I give him 2 stacks and now have what can only be described as a clusterfuck of monetary instruments in front of me. Exactly $900 in red chips, a rack and a half of brown ($10 chips), 4 Benjamins, and a pot that needs to be stacked. On top of this the megafish just bought his last 7 bets as he's not the type to go off for big numbers and I'm starting to make plans for the shortest session ever because I'm now locked out of the 20 for an hour. Cue Mike, responding to the megafish's call for chips. I give him some business, handing him the remaining reds and the bennies, asking for a total of $1300 more brown (which as a note will have me sitting with like over $3500 which is a little out of bounds for someone who has been dealt exactly 2 hands). I win another small pot and see Mike just kind of...disappear. He wanders off pushing his little cart to the main section of the casino. I'm not worried, just a little concerned. I wait patiently. More hands are dealt. I'm kind of looking for a reason to take a minute and collect myself anyway, so when my blind comes (I've been dealt like 7 hands now) I go off after him. Eventually the floorman informs me that Mike had to reload his cart and would be back in a few minutes. No biggie...I take a leak and come back to the table and immediately the megafish tells me "dude you should have seen it, K9, KQ and pocket aces, flop 9, river 9, look at all these chips!" I concur that he does in fact have a lot of chips, and lament my out button; it will be four hands until I can play again.

He wins all four of them, raising blind preflop at every opportunity. A4? Turn the wheel. J7o for 4 bets? He's calling, check-raising the flop in 3rd place, betting the turn, then mysteriously check/calling the river when he trips up. 92s? Put the lid on it, trips coming. 74o? Facing two bets cold on the turn KT6-3? "This is the real test" he declares. "I have four outs." He gets there. My blind comes and the rest of the table is just livid. He wins another pot, this time with K3 by making one pair. Of 3s. On the river. He wins again on his button, once again putting the lid on preflop, this time with what by now could be considered a premium holding; 86s. It looks like more of the same during his CO hand until....he misses! The streak ends at 6 hands in a row, not counting the K9 one I didn't get to see. He stands up from the table and declares immediately "deal me out, time to go home!" He doesn't even take his free hands, and Mike comes over to rack up his chips. The damage? $4500, American. The other 7 members of the table are simply flabbergasted, and I can't help but think about my decision to take the lap off basically caused this lunacy to happen. If Mike hadn't walked away and made me just a WEEEEEEE bit nervous about my chip situation the guy almost certainly would have just busted the $400 and walked away. But instead he's got 11 times that much, is as happy as a monkey in a banana store, and the other 7 people at my table are ready to gouge their eyes out with a spork.