And what you done with the maniac that was there just a minute ago? Yesterday I played a short session (2 hours) at Bay 101 and sat with a dead ringer for Agent Aaron Pierce. The first hand I played with him went like this.
AAP power limps the high jack and LV the dealer over limps the cutoff. I raise KJo in the SB, everyone who has cards calls and see a flop of:
I bet, BB calls, AAP raises, LV folds, I 3-bet, bb folds, AAP calls and we're heads up now.
I lead and he raises. This is obviously of great concern, as he has taken a slightly modified "fish nut line" and I'm usually in pretty bad shape here. What it comes down to is that the dude is not value raising with ANYTHING I can beat. I start talking to try to get him to talk a little bit, but he doesn't give anything up (I basically ask him if he has J9 and wait for the response....the problem here is that the only hands that make sense for him to have are J9 and 33 and I am basically drawing dead against that range). Eventually I revert to "he is unknown and I have top almost top I call". Other reasons for calling include what I said above, that only 2 hands make any sense whatsoever, and the presence of 2 flush draws.
Otherwise known as a brick. I check, he fires and I call instantly (if I was gonna fold, the turn was the place to do it). He says "You almost called my hand...you almost got it" and turns over A6o for complete and utter air. I sheepishly drag in more than a rack of chips and note that we have a special player on our hands. Then, this happens.
Tom B opens UTG. It folds to AAP and he opts to defend his BB. We see
AAP checks, Tom B bets, and AAP raises. Tom B calls.
AAP bets and Tom B calls. It's worth pointing out that despite the fact that Tom B raised UTG he can have all manner of garbage here. He's one of the laggiest regulars in my games, and he never, ever folds until it's clear that he is drawing dead.
Q76-A-2 and no flush is possible
AAP bets and Tom B now raises. Now I'm sitting there barely watching the hand, but I tune back in, look at the size of the pot, and reconstruct the action. I determine that Tom B has exactly A2 sooted. He's not a fancy play kind of guy and I don't think he'd wait til the river with any sort of big hand. So the 2 helped him. There is no straight or flush possible, and he raised UTG, so really he has to have A2s (trust me, it's in his range). MAYBE he has 22, but I don't think so. AAP hems and haws for what seems like a full minute and eventually calls. Tom B does not disappoint, tabling A2s (big flop Tom, big). Agent Aaron Pierce now looks rather sheepish and rolls....Pocket Queens! The second nuts! Only AA could possibly beat this guy, and he has somehow asked the bowling ball sitting on top of his neck to figure out what Tom B, a borderline insane LAG, has played in such a fashion, merely calling a flop c/r, then calling (not raising) a Q76-A turn. The bowling ball has responded that AA is extremely likely, so likely in fact that he cannot 3-bet, and therefore he opted just to call with the second nuts. It is impossible for Tom B to show up with AA here. It can't happen. This hand could be played a million times (I mean really, a million) and he will not put in this little action on the flop and turn with AA ever. Not once.
So the morale of the story is that you should run an elaborate 3 street bluff with A6o, no draw, no nothing, against a tight aggressive player who raised the small blind, and also not 3-bet the second nuts against a bad LAG who can't have you beat in a million years. I know this because 30 minutes later Agent Aaron Pierce racked up his 1600 American Dollars and vanished into the San Jose sunset, complete with resplendent shit-eating grin on his face marveling at how easy it is to crush this game.