Monday, May 9, 2011

Sports Railing Followup

I just wrote this on 2p2 and decided it was good enough to post here in it's entirety.

Oh and for the record I have solved prison over-population/expensiveness in a way that is congruous with "thou shalt not kill". My plan calls for an identity exchange program with whatever is the poorest most AIDs-ridden country in Africa. The pilot subjects will be the dodger's fans who beat the giants guy 7/8ths to death (and if we can't find them I suppose we can just use two random dodger's fans that'd be fine with me). Basically it's a complete swap of identity, assets, citizenship, rights, even perhaps faces (Nic Cage's last good movie IMO) with someone in said African country (which looks like either Congo or Zimbabwe). Bang! No death penalty, no expensive prison situation, and to boot some dudes from Africa can stop trying to rape virgins to cure their AIDS and get a fresh start on life in the suburbs.

Now for some questions:

But Jesse, how will we pay for it?

Ah good reader I'm glad you asked. Remember, it's a complete swap. The Africans get whatever assets the American felons could lay claim to. This will be more than enough to get them started off towards living the American dream.

But Jesse, the average Dodger's fan who is capable of beating someone to death (or even 7/8ths to death) is $200K underwater on his mortgage, has $40K on his master card at 29.9% and a credit score that couldn't win the batting title. How will they survive in such dire circumstances.

Bad beat.

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