You've gotta learn the language

I recently was in a situation where I was forced to explain what I do to a large group of "older" people who didn't really have a clue what playing poker for a living was like. It went OK, but afterwards it was pointed out to me that I used "a lot of lingo" that they just couldn't understand. Readers of this blog have told me the same thing. In an effort to overcome this obstacle, I give you to you a text message I sent to Captain R (Pete), verbatim from my phone, along with English Translation:

"Fish limps. I raise t8dd otb. Blinds clear hu. Q96 black ops double gutter IMO. He c/c. Turn 8. Nut against this guy. He c/c again. River 7. Yahtzee. He calls and shakes his head. Table gives me a collective look of disdain."

Here is the translation:

Fish limps

A bad player calls the big blind. His position is unimportant, as he is the only one who has yet entered the pot when it becomes my turn to act.

I raise t8dd otb.

I raise holding the Ten and the Eight of diamonds. I am on the button, the last player to act before the blinds and in the best possible position post flop.

Blinds clear hu.

The blinds both fold and the limper calls. The pot will be played heads up.

Q96 black ops double gutter IMO

The flop is Q96. The suits of the cards are not important. I have flopped a "double gutter" straight draw, which in this case means that either a 7 or Jack will give me a straight. It is very unlikely that my opponent can see that this draw is available. It is also very unlikely that he will even consider the fact that I might be holding Ten-Eight suited. In my opinion.

He c/c.

My opponent checks, then calls after I bet.

Turn 8. Nut against this guy. He c/c again.

The fourth community card is an 8, giving me a pair. Against my opponent's possible range of hands this stands as a very strong made hand that is likely to win at showdown without further improvement. He checks and calls when I bet once again.

River 7. Yahtzee. He calls and shakes his head.

The fifth community card is a 7, which gives me a ten-high straight. My opponent checks, and I bet. He shakes his head in dismay, realizing that his hand is likely beaten. Then he calls my bet, placing an additional 40 dollars into the pot.

Table gives me a collective look of disdain.

I table my hand first, since the player who is called must reveal his hole cards first. The other players in the game look at me with confusion and general disagreement apparent on their countenances, mainly because they do not feel it is appropriate to raise with a hand such as ten-eight suited. Also, they are unlikely to realize just how strong my hand was at every point during the hand. They remember this hand, and remember that I am a lunatic who will just "give it all back" eventually. My opponent mucks his hand, as it cannot defeat my straight. I drag a $305 pot.