Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Asshole Card

Private Joker recently took it upon himself to start the "Asshole Card" low content thread on Two Plus Two. To quote:

The a$$hole card is the one card in the deck that can come to cost you the maximum. Maybe you're currently ahead, hit a card to improve your hand, but it gives someone else the nuts and you lose the max. Or maybe you're behind, you hit your hand, but it hits someone else's hand harder and you lose the max. There are all kinds of ways to suffer the fate of the a$$hole card, and for some reason I've seen almost all of them over the past few weeks. Hopefully this thread, like the "hand where you ruin someone's life" thread can flourish for months and months to come. So please, post that special hand you just played where the a$$hole card bent you over backwards.

Today I hit the asshole card rather hard.

BA, the regular who tries to play good but just can't bet and raise enough raises from the high-jackish area. I call in the small blind swith KcTc (also known as 'suited broadways') and proceed to flop a monster when the board comes down:

Ac Jc 7d

The pot is 5 ways with me first and BA 4th to act. I just donk it, get a fold, and then Tom B (here forward known as Megafish) calls. BA raises and starts talking so I figure he's got a hand, and the last player to act folds. I 3-bet, Megafish calls, BA caps, I call, and Mega fish calls for the 5th time so far this hand.

Ac Jc 7d 4s

Alright, I didn't hit any of my nut making outs (I have 11 that are pure as virgin snow....2345689Q of clubs, then the other 3 queens) so I check. Megafish checks, BA bets, I call and so does Megafish (that's 6).

Ac Jc 7d 4s 7c

Little do I know it, but I've just been penetrated by the asshole card. I bet, Megafish folds, and BA raises. I decide to light $39.95 on fire and call, and he rolls:

Ah 7h

That's right folks, full how! There were 44 cards left in the deck that could come off on the river. As stated, 11 of them gave me a winner, and 32 allowed me to check and fold peacefully. Which card did I get? The $80 asshole card.

No comments: