Heater Fantastique

As planned I spent Saturday afternoon at the Land of Dolphin Chips, although I ended up only playing 20/40 for about 4 hours. I called and put my name on the list before getting in my car (as usual) and was told there were about "10 or 12" names on the list and two games going. When I showed up, 25 minutes later, I was 13th on the list. How exactly does that work? Anyway, it took 30 minutes to get a 6/12 seat...after 30 minutes of 6/12 (I did win 17 dollars) I was first up on the 8/16 list and decided not to post my blind and just wait for that seat. 30 minutes later I was called for 20/40, still atop the 8/16 list (basically not a single 8/16 player got up for half an hour). Wasting time waiting for a seat is something I need to minimize, and yesterday it took almost 2 hours from when I left my apartment until I was actually playing my main game. Frustrating. On to the pokers....

I don't have a single hand from my four hour session worth posting on Two Plus Two, but can regal you with some humorous hands and table banter.

The Table Nazi

Seat 5 is engaged in a pot with Seats 1 and 2. On the river Seat 1 bets, Seat 2 folds, and Seat 5 calls. Seat 1 tables his hand, and as Seat 5 is mucking (his hand can't win) Seat 1 decides to invoke IWTSTH, which in my experience is probably the simplest way to tilt an opponent and should be eliminated from Texas Hold 'Em. Basically, Seat 1 has the right to ask to see Seat 5's hand. The point of the rule is to ensure that Seat 1 and Seat 5 were not colluding against Seat 2, betting and raising to knock him out of the hand and divide up his money "in the parking lot". I can assure you no such shenanigans were taking place here, and I also assure that Seat 2 did not know the reason the rule exists. Seat 2 is not a very good player, and honestly doesn't understand what he just did. Therefore, I must protect him.

Seat 5, glaring at Seat 2: "You're showing yours the rest of the time I'm here"
Seat 2: "I just wanted to see if I was right."
Seat 5: "If you can't figure out what I have by the way I play you shouldn't be at the table"
Seat 2: "Well I can't, I guess I'll leave"

Seat 2 starts "fake racking" his chips (a term I just made up), like he's actually going to leave. It's not clear to me at the moment if he's actually going to leave or not. Seat 5 has broken the cardinal rule; he has tapped the glass. For this I decide he must be punished.

Seat 3 chimes in: "You leaving?"
Seat 2: "Yup, the table Nazi says I have to go, I'm not good enough"

This is the pivotal moment in our saga. To this point the table had been an excellent one, with everyone in a great "gambling" mood. The happier people are, the more willing they are to gamble it up (most of the time...at the other extreme is the "guy on tilt"....but it is hard, nay, I say, nearly impossible, to have a whole table on tilt, while it is quite easy to have a whole table loose it's mind and happily toss chips into the pot seemingly at random). I cannot allow this great table to go sour; I do this shit for a living now, amirite?

Seat 5: "I'm not a Nazi. I'm actually a pacifist"
Jesse: "Now that's clearly not true"

The table erupts in laughter (all except Seat 5 of course) and I have saved the day. The table shows it's appreciation by giving me 2.5 racks of chips before I table change.

Betting out of Turn

Shortly thereafter the following two hand sequence ensues. I limp in with 44 and see the flop for one bet 5 or 6 handed. I flop a set and am going to bet, but as I'm reaching for chips the guy behind me bets out of turn. I say "OK, I check" and assume his bet will stand. Someone calls his bet, then Seat 2 says "That bet can't count, he acted out of turn". The dealer enforces this rule and I feel like a douche for not knowing it (I even try to bet, but am told I already checked. I stare daggers at Seat 2 for a minute, but as I stated, he's a fish, and fish must be tolerated). I bet the next two streets and get called down only by the guy who wanted to bet in the first place, and while tabling my hand I say "Please don't bet out of turn sir". MHIG, and Seat 2 says "it worked out" and I say "No, actually it cost me about 100 dollars". But really it is my fault, I got greedy and tried to take advantage of a guy betting out of turn (obviously I was going to check/raise the whole table).

Very next hand, I open raise AT of spades. I get 3-bet by Mr Out of turn and we take the flop like 4 handed (again including Seat 2. I'm telling you he's a walking, talking, ATM). The Gods have not gone blind on this day and I am rewarded with not one, not two, but three big fat spades on the flop. I bet/3-bet and eventually drag a 500 dollar pot. Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue. Today was my second stint in a row as pigeon.

1000 to 1

Some people see a flop of QQQ after 3 or 4 bets went in preflop. This is a curious situation, and an early position limper (who called all the bets obviously) check/raises the flop. He is the worst player at the table and it's not close. The two players who went to war (Seat 2 of aforementioned glory and another) look confused. Turn is a 7. EP guy bets again and again they both call. River 7, for a final board of QQQ77. EP guy bets one more time, and after a long time both players call. EP guy shows 77, for runner runner quads! This is a 987:1 shot. The Table Nazi invokes IWTSTH on Seat 2 (obviously) and he shows JJ. The other player flashes Aces and mucks.

The Heater Takes Shape

I am now seated next to the table Nazi and he has informed me he does not chop. I usually chop because it saves money (the house drop is high enough that even a vastly superior opponent is unlikely to profit in the long run by playing heads up....when you chop both blinds just get their money back and the next hand is dealt), but with the Nazi on my left I have to play against him, so I have just informed the player on my right that "I'm going to play today". Anyway, it folds to him and he calls and I just check with A4. The final board is 44Q-A-2 and my hand is quite, quite good. I then flop a set of Kings on a 3-heart board (I have no heart) and an aggressive player puts in 5 big bets with a set of 2's. Upon showdown he tables his hand like it's the nuts and I'm like "Oh....cool" and table my top set to drag another monster. I change tables, run bad a little, then do this on back to back hands against the same opponent:

I 3-bet middle position, he takes 3 bets to the face and the flop happens 4 handed (the original raiser didn't cap).

983r (the r means rainbow...no flush draw)

Checked to me and I bet, villain raises, one fold, original raiser calls, I 3-bet, they both call. I'm thinking I need to dodge a lot of stuff here. Nobody has KK or AA because nobody capped preflop, but my opponent might be waiting til the big street to raise a set. He could also have a straight draw (he's loose enough) and I know the original raiser has AK or AQ.

3

Wow, best card in the deck I say. I bet, they both call. Set is now out of the question and my opponent has a straight draw, pocket Tens, or pocket Jacks. The preflop raiser is still waiting on his Ace.

3

Wow, best card in the deck again. I bet, villain tanks and calls, preflop raiser flashes AK and mucks. I table my ladies, he shows jacks in frustration.

Very. Next. Hand.

I limp 56 clubs. We see the flop 6 handed for 1 bet.

Kc 7h 8h

I bet my straight draw, villain and one other call.

2s

I bet my straight draw, villain calls.

Qs

I have 6 high, so I bet. Villain tanks for 30 seconds, then folds. I decide not to show my hand and end his life. A few hands later I win another monster with KK and decide to call it a day early and take Joe up on dinner and beers in San Francisco. Final talley:

+17 at 6/12
+2016 at 20/40

I can break even for the next 3 weeks and still be doing fine.