Silly Things I Did Today

In a single ten (10) hour session of live 20/40 I achieved the following merit badges:

Expert Check Back and How'd You Lose That Hand

I don't remember the exact action of this hand, but it involves me calling a raise in the big blind with A6o, and seeing a flop 5 ways of:

AA4hh

I checked raised the field and the preflop raiser folded (damn you BJ one time could you just have something resembling a real hand and have to call me down for the jackpot equity) and I think someone else actually LOL folded and me and the small blind saw the turn peel off:

AA4hh-7h

The SB checked and I insta-checked back. He has either an ace or a flush, and that's all there is to it. He leads the river 8 and I making a crying call to see his....K6hh. To recap:

[x] check/raise 5 people with trips

[x] correctly check back trips HUHU for free card at full house draw

[x] lose to K6 with A6 on flop with two aces.

Spew Cap

The action folds around to me in the HJ and I make raisy daisy with the Jack and the Nine of clubs. The CO 3 bets and the other three players....all...call. I put in the spew cap because whatever it's Jack Nine SOOOOTED and not capping Jack Ten soooted would be cause for convening a review board to impose sanctions against me. The flop comes:

9s 5s 3c

And to boot the BB donks into me. I raise, a couple people eat two cold, the BB 3 bets and for some reason I play bad and don't cap it, convincing myself I will raise the turn, which is a red ten. The big blind leads and I realize he's almost all in (only 3 chips left) and I sense something about his actions tells me not to raise, so I don't (this is bad...really bad....I need to not do stuff like this), and the two players behind me both call right along with their various over cards and gutshots and whatevers that are bound to crack my pair of nines. The river pairs the 3 and the BB bets his last 3 chips, I call, and the button....completes the bet to 8 chips. I fold, the button shows 32ss, and the big blind....mucks and claims "top pair and a spade draw" which probably means KT of spades. So to recap:

[x] cap J9s

[x] play like a donkey

[x] fold for 5/8ths of a bet closing the action on the river in a 16 big bet pot

....I started writing this post almost a week ago, then went to Boston for 5 days, and am now trying to finish it....I don't remember the hands that well, but will do my best to fill in the details:

Just Plain Spew

Again I somehow end up in a pot with A6o, this time holding the ace of clubs, and once again the pot was raised UTG and I called closing the action at something like 11 or 13 to one. The flop came off

854cc

And it was requested of me to call two bets cold in what was going to be a 3 to 4 way pot, not closing the action, getting immediate odds of about 9 to 1. So I called. The UTG preflop raiser three bet and the crazy gambling man (who spends his time telling people how to beat the commerce 1/2 game which is just lol-amazing) doesn't cap it and I get to call one more bet. Obviously the turn is the:

854cc-5c

And here we sit. I have the ace of trump and a gut shot, and once again am obviously faced with two cold in a 14 or so big bet pot. I ponder, try to fold, then simply cannot and sling 80 more hopeless dollars into the pot. The UTG raiser now 3 bets and the 1/2 professor just calls and I...fold my hand. The river bricks of and UTG shows 88 to defeat the professor's flopped straight. So to recap:

[x] call 2 cold with 3 outs to a chop

[x] call 2 cold drawing stone dead

[x] eventually fold for 1 bet

[ ] see the river

Bluff 5/T Showdown Monkey

I'll probably get the board wrong here, but basically my best opponent by a substantial margin 3 bet my CO open and I called. I happened to be holding K9o, with no diamonds, and just called on the flop of:

K75dd

I almost always check/raise here, but felt like I was a little too predictable and decided to change things up. He called, and the turn brought either the 8 or 6 of diamonds. I checked and resolved to raise his bet, which he made without much thought. My plan here is that he now has to call with all manner of cheese (hands as week as like 44 with a diamond) and will likely give me a bet I don't deserve on the river because "big pot has pear" theory will stifle his creativity. So as this is happening I resolve to bet river diamonds (which would put four on the board) as a pure bluff. And I get a gem:

K75dd-8d-Jd

I fire the last bet in rhythm and he folds what he later claimed was KT with no diamond. So to recap:

[x] make slow play with worst hand

[x] successfully bluff showdown monkey off top pair

Cap Preflop, Fold to Any Bet

This one wasn't even that interesting....Late position opens, SB 3 bets, I cap 99, both call. Board runs out AAK-T-A and I attempt to check/fold the flop, but nobody bets. The late position player bets the turn and gets called down by the SB, who eventually wins the pot with JJ (late position player had TT).

Shit My Dad Says

As many of you already know, Danielle is a huge Packer's fan, and this morning my father decided he would try to play peace broker between us and provide a jumping off point for breaking down the match ups in the upcoming battle of titans. Here then I give you just the most recent shit my dad says:

I am going to act as Jesse's surrogate in this because I don't want this to lead to domestic discord between the 2 of you. I have big shoulders and can take as much as you give. I assume Tyson is for the Stillers. The furry guy for the Packers. The cat is oblivious to everything. The snake I will not comment on.

First I have been cyphering and have calculated that:

The force of (4.026) x (pi) x 1 Cheesehead = The force of 1 Terrible Towel. There will be a lot of Terrible towels in Dallas.

Also. The Force of Myron and the Chief will be with us.

As to the 12th man. Packer fans are great but Stiller fans are the best in the world. Knock, Knock, Knockin on 7ins Door.

Actually I think it will be a very close game. Probably decided by a turn over or lucky play Something like 28 - 27. I don't think it will be low scoring.

At QB. Rogers is the most accurate QB I have ever seen. He escapes the pocket like Houdini. He runs as fast as a white RB. He is 3 times smarter than Favre. He grows a nice beard. Big Ben (The Polar Bear) just gets it done. He has already won 2 Super Bowls. He has realized it's the team not him. His beard is a little below standards. Slight advantage Packers unless the Stillers get to Rogers and start knocking him down. Getting to Ben will not affect him.

Wide receivers. Packers are tremendous. Jennings is a superstar. Driver is a tuff dude who does not drop passes. Jordy is a great possession WR. Jones is great if he does not drop it. Wallace is a future superstar. He beat Reavis but Ben under threw him. Hines is just Hines. He never drops a pass and makes it on 3rd downs. The youngins Brown and Sanders just get better every week. Advantage Packers. Randel will throw and complete a big pass.

Tight ends. Quarless has potential but he is not there yet. He was always in JoPas doghouse till he found Jesus. Miller is very, very good, both blocking and catching. Spaeth is OK. Johnson is now the fullback. I will discuss later. Big advantage Stillers.

OF Line. Both are suspect. If Pouncey plays I rate them even. If not advantage Packers. (Maybe Ligurski can grow some arms).

Running Game. Sorry but even though the Packers have Shippensburg Kuhn, they suck. They will not gain 70 yards and the Stillers will not have to put 8 in the box. Stillers will be able to run it. Mendenhall ran like never before last week. But in the 1st half they did have TE Johnson playing FB. He cracked many defenders really well. Big advantage Stillers.

Def Line. Stillers are good but big advantage Packers even if Smith plays.

LBs Packers are good but Stillers 4 are the best in the league. Harrison or Woodly + Rogers = fumble or Rogers carted off the field. Big advantage Stillers.

Def Backs. Rating all 4 the Packers are better. But the Stillers have Troy. Slight advantage Packers.

Special teams. PSU Kapinos is OK but nowhwere near Sepulvada. Suisham has been good and is the equal of Crosby. No great return people on either team except maybe Jonathon Brown for the Stillers. Rate it even.

Ass Coaches. Both Lebau and Capers worked together under Cower to develop 3-4 zone blitze. Even as I see it.

Head Coach. Both deserve consideration for coach of the year. Packers lost like 17 guys to IR. Stillers had Ben suspended for 4 games, lost both starting OF tackles, lost Arron Smith, Troy out 2 games and probably not at 100% for many more. I did not like Tomlin at first cause I thought he made dumb decisions and sometimes I think he still does. But he gets them to play. Advantage Stillers.

When I say 28-27 I am sure it will be Stillers 28 Packers 27. Stillers don't go to the Super Bowl to lose.

It's Getting Hard to Keep Up

I don't know why, but lately I've been finding it harder and harder to be motivated to type up a blog post. Lots of interesting things have happened that I could spin into an interesting post (like yesterday when I got completely coolered by three opponents who all played their hands exceptionally poorly, and still only lost about a rack on the day), but I just haven't had the motivation. So I guess again I'm just going to ramble.

First of all today is football day. Danielle and I are just settling in for our second such Packers and Steelers...(knock knock knock Danielle's dad is here and we just spent 9 hours watching football and eating brats).

OK and we're back.....I can't believe the Steelers almost blew that game. Like, what on Earth were they trying to do in the second half? What changed on defense? Why did they continue to try to run the ball into a 8 and 9 man fronts? Anyway, now we have to decide how we are going to handle what will very likely be the only Packers Steelers Superbowl of our entire lives. Part of me really wants to just say fuck it and drop the $4-5K or whatever it would cost to go to the game (crappy tickets are selling for $2300 a piece, so likely I could get it done for under $4K), but the rest of me (the rational me) is pretty sure that's a spectacularly stupid idea. Most likely we'll end up just watching the game at home, in our apartment, in relative peace.

In poker news things are going extremely well. I've only logged 3 losing sessions this entire month (including the very first of the new year) and am so far up a stunning 10 racks in just a shade under 100 hours of play. I'm also crushing it online (I have a chance at a $2K month in less than 10K hands), thanks in part I think to a conscious decision to focus on playing only in good games when I'm feeling on top of my game (thanks to DougL and others for that piece of golden advice) and in part just because I get to run like Jesus. Live poker has been more of the same, with me actually getting to drag large pots, such as the time last week when I flopped a set of aces on :

A82r

And the guy just called the flop. LOL he's always raising the turn...always. So he does and I three bet after what apparently was the correct amount of hollywooding because he insta-4bet. At this point I stare out at the felt to ensure that there is in fact no straight possible on A82-9 and 5 bet. The guy promptly flips his shit but is unable to make what at some level should be the easiest lay down of all time....or at least as easy of a 4-bet/fold as you could ever find. Like, I raised the SB...I don't have 22. Anyway, that's been nice, and now I'm exhausted (a state I'm finding myself in more and more frequently) and need to get to sleep. Maybe I'll write something interesting from Boston next week.

I'm Not Calling

So my first software project for the Big Potato has wrapped up and today it was time to get paid a little. The general agreement we have is that I'll code shit up for him, and in return he will coach me up on the limited texas hold them so that someday I can be like him and feel somewhat secure in my ability to make real dollars playing this game. The basic play for today was for him to sweat me Asian girlfriend style in the Commerce 20 for as long as we could get away with slash I was comfortable and then share a meal and discuss my various blunderings. The sweating part wasn't that interesting since I didn't get involved in too many hands, but he basically told me what I figured he'd tell me (and what he figured he'd tell me). His main critique (which admittedly was based on exactly two hands of interest) was that I need to a touch more "combative" in the pots I choose to play. Under normal circumstances I'd discuss this in more depth, regaling you with my folding of (gasp) a pair on the flop for a single bet, and my failure to check and raise second pair three ways against an under the gun raiser. But today I was at Commerce, and that pretty much means something terrible had to happen.

So before potato could even roll up I was there and helped start the 3rd 20/40 game. We literally had not been at it for even an entire orbit yet and as usual the floor men were trying to concurrently start a 40/80 game. Three players from my game were hemming and hawing saying "is it going to go?" and "do you have a game" and eventually Marcel came over and said "full game I'm taking a nickel and locking you up" and promptly grabbed a $5 chip from seats 4, 5, and 6 and walked them over to the new 40 game. Never mind that this is going to leave our 6 minute old must move game 5 handed. That is of no concern to Marcel; he just works there, and his job description is just to start games and keep customers happy. So anyway while this is happening a hand comes off the deck and seat 4 folds and picks up his chips, seat 5 follows suite, and seat 6 raises and says "I'll be right there". I am in the cutoff and behold the AQo and make it three bets. The small blind, who is a glittering, pristine example of all that is wonderful and awful about Commerce takes all the bets cold, as is his custom, and probably starts thinking about how he's going to berate the dealer after he once again fails to triumph with his ground breaking check/call, check/call, check/fold strategy. The opener calls and we see a flop.

All I remember about this flop is that it had and an ace in it. Hours later he and I decided it was A84r, but neither of us can be sure there was no flush draw, and we aren't exactly sure on the cards beside the ace. Of that, we are decidedly certain. So the small blind checks (because that is the first step in his above stated 6 part strategy) and the raiser...donks. No need to get fancy here, I has it, and the second part of the SBs strategy is "call" and the number of bets is of little concern to him, so it is in my best interest to to make that number as large a possible. Nearly nothing is going through my head as the SB calls both bets (phase 2 complete) and the donker just calls. I do a little work trying to hand read, but honestly at this point I'm betting til they raise me, at which point I'm calling down, and really there is nothing more to think about in this hand. The turn card pairs the ace, and this is the point where something in my brain could have (or maybe even should have) alerted me to the possibility that something was perhaps amiss. But I must confess not even a flicker of thought ran through my brain beyond "you both check? I have three aces I will bet". That is it. So the SB checks, and the donker who is now completely racked up and ready to leave for the 40/80 says "I'm not calling" and picks his cards up off the table. Nothing registers beyond sheer confusion. I decide he must think we are heads up and is informing me that the hand is over out of courtesy (lol, this would be the first such act in the history of the Commerce casino, were it true) and simply respond "But he might" and motion towards the small blind, who obligingly calls the bet, completeling the fourth leg of his six part journey. The donker is a little agitated and says "I said I wouldn't call" and folds pocket jacks in a "flashy" way, basically picking them up backs toward himself and folding them forward in a grand sweeping motion. Still in my brain....there is nothing. I even say to the small blind, out of courtesy "I saw two picture cards, probably jacks" and their owner seems a little confused himself. "Yes, jacks" he responds (lol donk/call check/fold jacks? well played sir). The dealer burns and turns....the case ace. And it hits me like a ton of bricks. The speech, the confusion, the agitation....the man was trying to tell me that he wasn't going to call a bet and if I wanted my chance to hit the jackpot I needed to just check. The small blind checks, I bet, and he folds QJhh face up (which at some point did in fact have a flush draw....perhaps not until the turn, or at least that's what me and the other guy decided hours later) and everyone looks at me longingly. Do I have it? I am stunned and can do nothing but nod....they push me the pot....I turn my cards over to prove my claim, as if anyone in his right mind would possibly lie in such a situation. The table is in awe; we just missed a $33K bad beat jack pot ($6600 of which would have been mine) because the guy folded on the turn. He personally would have won nearly $20K (meaning he was getting about 500:1 on the call). And I swear on all I keep holy (which to frank isn't very much) that it didn't even occur to me until I saw all three of those pretty aces on the board after the river fell.

GG Commerce. Good. Fucking. Game.

Confirm Fair to Middling

I took the day "off" today to work on that software project for/with the big potato. It only took me half a day or so, and I got 99% of the answer he wanted to his question. He seems a satisfied customer, anyway. I spent the other half of the day donking around on Full Tilt, and was treated to more glorious run good. To date on the year I have done basically nothing but win online, which is probably due to a combination of running well, advanced comfort with the games, and scaling back the hours and numbers of tables I'm playing. Here are the highlights from today's session:

Full Tilt Poker $2/$4 Limit Hold'em - 8 players
The Official 2+2 Hand Converter By DeucesCracked Poker Videos

Pre Flop: (1.5 SB) Hero is CO with T 9
2 folds, MP1 calls, MP2 raises, Hero 3-bets, 5 folds

Final Pot: 3.25 BB
Hero wins 3.25 BB


Full Tilt Poker $5/$10 Limit Hold'em - 9 players
The Official 2+2 Hand Converter By DeucesCracked Poker Videos

Pre Flop: (1.5 SB) Hero is BB with K 2
UTG raises, UTG+1 calls, UTG+2 calls, MP1 calls, MP2 calls, 2 folds, SB calls, 1 fold

Flop: (13 SB) J 4 4 (6 players)
SB bets, UTG folds, UTG+1 folds, UTG+2 calls, MP1 raises, MP2 folds, SB folds, UTG+2 calls

Turn: (9 BB) 4 (2 players)
UTG+2 checks, MP1 bets, UTG+2 folds

Final Pot: 9 BB
MP1 wins 8.7 BB
(Rake: $3.00)


Full Tilt Poker $5/$10 Limit Hold'em - 8 players
The Official 2+2 Hand Converter By DeucesCracked Poker Videos

Pre Flop: (1.5 SB) Hero is UTG+1 with K K
UTG calls, Hero raises, 2 folds, CO calls, 3 folds, UTG calls

Flop: (7.5 SB) 5 8 4 (3 players)
UTG bets, Hero raises, CO folds, UTG calls

Turn: (5.75 BB) 6 (2 players)
UTG bets, Hero calls

River: (7.75 BB) 7 (2 players)
UTG bets, Hero calls

Final Pot: 9.75 BB
UTG shows 3 3 (a straight, Eight high)
Hero shows K K (a straight, Eight high)
UTG wins 4.75 BB
Hero wins 4.7 BB
(Rake: $3.00)