Saturday, November 30, 2013

[x] Gets IT

Today I would like to discuss the concept of "IT" and specifically "getting IT".  What "IT" is is very amorphous, mercurial, and in many cases simply unknowable.  In fact, it is actually impossible to define "IT" alone, and rather I find it only possible to see when people "get IT" for themselves.  I do not "get IT", and neither do most of the people I know.  In order to "get IT" you need to be truly happy, prioritize the things that matter to you, and in general understand what you're trying to accomplish in this world.  At a minimum.  Of all my friends, I'd say Pete is the closest to "getting IT", although there are some others who are definitely close.  Juice really seems to "get IT", as does Leo.

Every once in a while I hear a song or see something that makes me thing someone "gets IT".  Mike Tomlin?  I thought he "got IT", but turns out he's just a fucking asshole who seriously thinks we are going to buy he wasn't trying to interfere with that kick return.  Macklemore, however?  I think he may "get IT".  I have been listening to While Walls and absolutely love it for some reason, even though the lyrics aren't relevant and the song is itself seems kind of annoying.

Friday, November 29, 2013

Things She Says

While watching them make little tiny donuts in apple country:

"Donuts are fried?  I didn't know that!"  

Me:  "Of course they are fried.  What did you think they were"

Her:  Pause.   "Baked"

While discussing my working at a nursery in high school, which was my attempt to compete with Juice's firing from Blockbuster and Numbnut's firing from McDonalds (for being disemborded, as he put it):

"Why do you have nurseries in Pennsylvania?  If you wanted a plant couldn't you just go out in the forest and dig one up?

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Costco at Lunch is Like Driving in the Rain

And what on Earth could I possibly mean by that?  Here we go.  If you spend any time at all driving in the rain in California (and you won't, because it never, ever rains here), you'll immediately notice that traffic is always absolutely fucked (even more so than usual) every time a single drop of rain threatens to think about forming somewhere in the upper atmosphere.  Why is this?  It's not because everyone drives like an idiot, which is the conclusion everyone jumps to.  No, that's the reason that traffic is usually fucked it's normal amount.  The reason for the additional fuckage is because different people respond in different ways.  When the roads are dry, the distribution of velocities of the cars out there probably looks pretty much like a bell curve, centered around say 70 MPH.  Things are bad, but generally speaking most people are trying to do the same thing at sort of the same speed, and some flow of cars in and out of the system does actually manage to happen.  But what happens when it rains?  Some people carry on as if nothing had happened, and some people slow down drastically, say to 50 MPH or something.  Sure, some people slow down a medium amount, but generally speaking what happens is that you create a bimodal distribution, with a big chunk of the population going one speed and another large chunk going another.  Obviously this is just bad news for everyone, because now you have way more cars going past each other and changing lanes on top of the reduced visibility and stopping distances and boom way more accidents and way more traffic.

Costco at lunchtime is exactly like this.  One segment of the population is making a day of it; the members of this segment amble about nearly aimlessly, on the lookout for the next 14 gallon jar of mayonnaise they didn't know they couldn't live without until this very moment.  Then there is the other segment of the population.  I am a member of that segment, and we shop with a certain degree can I say this...urgency.  We are not looking to add things to our cart, oh no, we are simply trying to get all the items on the list that our spouses emailed to us and get the fuck out of there in time to not miss a meeting at 1pm.  And obviously when you mix two populations you basically get the 5 north.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

[x] Work

So I've actually started working.  After 62+ months of playing poker I have reported to a cubicle the past two days, and you know what?  It's going just fine.  There is a ton to learn, obviously I am a little rusty, and it's taking some getting used to, but today I didn't have much of a problem being at work from 8 to 6.  My current tasks?  Learning scala, reading about our products, and figuring out how to get the most out of the benefits package (23% off my AT&T bill?  Thank you kindly).  I have to sure is nice to come home from work and home.  It's so much easier to leave it at the office than poker ever was.  Maybe that will change in a few weeks when I have some actual responsibilities, but for right now I am feeling great about everything.