Sunday, June 20, 2010

When Do You Not Throw Cards?

There's this degenerate Asian lady in my game with whom I've played before who is by any conceivable definition of the word a rightious bitch. She's constantly cussing out the dealer, throwing cards, and in general just a miserable human being. A few hours ago she threw her KJo at the dealer after getting shown AA on a KJ8-Q-T board and said "That only card! How many time?!" First of all you can't racist ban me, it's my blog. Second of all, let's see here, any ace, ten, queen, or eight ships the pot to THE GUY WITH ACES and you're throwing your cards at the dealer? You had 70% equity in a 6 bet pot stfu you have no clue what it is to run bad. If you did you'd have been in the 8/16 game years ago.

So she limps MP and I raise her with A9cc in the HJ. The CO folds but we are in a 3 blind situation because the button left inexplicably (come to think of that if he'd just taken a hand none of this would have happened) and the blond heater girl calls OTB and both big blinds come along and boom 5 way pot with ace nine here I come! But it's sooted, so I've got that going for me, which is nice.


To war! They all check and I bet. Blond girl raises and one of the blinds calls and Asian degen lady calls. Topsies topsies topsies I 3-bet they all call. Blond girl almost certainly has a pair and a draw here, maybe as good as 97. Hand reading on the other 2 is hopeless but I mean top pear let's go nuts. 22 small bets now in the pot.


Moment of truth, somebody usually has JT....two checks I bet they all call. Wow. Blond girl has one pair of 9s for sure now.


For once a brick. Blind and Asian degen lady check and I fire. I probably am best, and blond girl will call me with her 9. She does, the blind folds and Asian degen lady....tanks. Fuck. Somehow some way this dispicable human has a queen in her hand. My hand looks like friggin' aces, she's not overcalling with a 9 here. 5 seconds. 10. She calls. I table my hand and she says "what is that?! I almost muck my hand" and tables QTo. There is a general bruhaha but bless her running good heart a flicker of comprehension flashes across the blond girls face. It appears she may not be incapable of learning.

So here's the point. VERY NEXT hand Asian degen lady opens UTG and I 3 ball me some jacks. Everyone else folds, she calls, and calls the flop of


Then check raises me rightously when an Ace hits the turn. I fold and she actually flashes it to me and I just laugh it off. Next hand.....

Folds to the button and Asian degen lady says "We Chop!" from the big blind. The button raises, the small blind folds, and Asian degen lady, swear to God scouts honor cross my heart and hope to die, flings her cards at the dealer and mutters something like "Every hand deuce!"

I cannot control myself. I laugh heartily, dare I say nearly uncontrollably, and she realizes I'm laughing at her. She looks right at me and says very aggressively "What so funny?"

I pull it together and ask simply "When, exactly, do you not throw your cards?"

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