As I type this I'm playing a rare Saturday night session at Commerce (my better half has already commenced Father's Day activities and since I live 2500 miles from my father I've got nothing going on). Some strange stuff is happening. On my way in from the car a black cat literally darted across my path 10 feet in front of me. You can't make this stuff up. And now this vaguely foreign blond girl has run over the table for a 4+ rack win after declaring "You can request all the setups you want it's gonna be like this all night" while dragging a 10 bet pot in which I had to fold black AA on the turn 997dd-8d to her 3 bet. Trust me I had four outs tops, probably 2. So she's blowing up the table, coloring up to whites every 5 minutes, and acting like it's supposed to happen (she apparently won 5 racks yesterday), and I realize she's actually reasonably tight. Like, she's limping 97s UTG and calling two bets with 88 but by Commerce preflop standards these are extremely minor infractions. So 9 rack heater is officially like a 4 sigma event here. I suppose it's good she's obviously gonna be hooked for life and we always need new specimans for the aquarium but it'd be great if she could do her thing without taking my fun tickets.
So two more funny things happened....well three. First Phillies Cap Guy gets EPICLY slowrolled. Like he gets c/r'ed on the turn and makes a speech about "just can't fold can you" and calls, then let's the river check through after the other guy checks. The board is like KT7hh-8h-6c and he tables KhJs which admittedly is a pretty big hand I'd have likely fastrolled also. The other guy sits there for I'm not even kidding 15-30 seconds before tabling 97ss and hilarity does ensue. PCG o's royally pissed off for this heinous slow roll, as he should be. The other guy just keeps saying "have to make sure I have straight". Come on....that's not a hard one to see there sir. You mean to say you were check raising the turn on your pair of 7s alone. So moving along....
I see a free flop in the big blind 4-5 ways with Ad4h and the board falls
Yeah right I hear ya how am I gonna get in trouble with this one? I mean I have I've got like the 8th one card nut flush draw and half the table is in the pot. So obviously it checks around and I spike my 1-outter to lose $80.
I bet cause I mean folding the 6 of hearts sure would be swell and I have a pair of ones now. PCG calls. Keep in mind that it's pretty likely nobody has the Ace of hearts here, as they'd have bet the flop.
I bet because I'm retarded. PCG is super weak/foldy and he is never paying me off with less than an ace. But there's only one ace left how bad can it be? He calls and I say "I have an ace" and table my cheeseball. He, the victim of our last slow roll, now stares at my hand for 5 seconds before tabling his Ac9h. It wasn't really that bad because the instant he looked at my hand I knew I was fucked, but I just found it funny that I managed to spike a one outter to lose $80. Every other card in the deck results in me putting zero dollars into the pot.
So we play some more and I get aces and raise and PCG calls the bets in the SB and the limper calls and we flop
Bing. Blang. Blaow. They both call my bet.
Glory! They both check, I bet. PCG breaks his stack and JUST begins to move toward the pot and the limper practically wets himself trying to raise. Fucking retard. PCG pulls back his chips and contemplates before folding what he later says was ATo. Limper now raises and I courtesy tank for 4 seconds before 3 betting him (this is a silly LHE spot as I'm completely unbalanced....I have zero bluffs in my range. The reason for this is that he is unbalanced also, with his range basically starting at J8 and going only up). He pays me off and I guess I won't miss the $40 he cost me but I mean come on.