The Beatings Continue

I'm sure you've all noticed the paucity of actual poker content recently.  There are reasons for it, which I'll explain at a later date, but for now you'll have to make due with two fantastic beat stories.

Beat Number 1

The game is 25/50 (yes, yes I was where you think I was) and I am on the button.  3 or 4 people limp and Mr. 40 Month Win Streak (maybe snapped?  He was playing on the 29th!) raises in the cutoff.  I cold call on the button with pocket 6s (what else could I possibly do) and we see the flop at least 7 and maybe 8 ways.  I don't know.  Lots of fucking people.

864r

Obviously.  A stone cold idiot who has limped 85s in the middle somewhere donks, it folds to me, I raise, the blinds both call two cold, stone cold 3 bets, I cap, the blinds call again, to the turn.

8

The blinds check (they're both drawing dead now I'm sure) he donks and I actually consider just calling to let the blinds draw but then decide that's stupid and raise.  The blinds both fold (which in theory is good since there are like 20 bets in the pot, but I mean really nobody is folding anything with outs here unless I get like a pair of tens to go into the muck) and stone cold...three bets me.  He has an 8 and a 5 and he three bets me.  He is winning exactly zero percent of the time here (I cannot have 9s or better from the preflop action...so at a minimum I have 87s...an absolute minimum) and this throws me for a loop.  Shouldn't he know he can't win?  He should.  What can he think I have?  Tens?  I mean, really?  I actually call meekly, which given what he has is a MASSIVE mistake.  Obviously....

4

He bets I call he wins and has this shit eating grin on his face and absolutely no idea that he did anything remotely unusual in the hand what so ever.

Beat Number 2

This is just a cold deck really, but since it was played at 100/200 it really hurt.  It's simply really.   The lady opens and I 3 bet the aces in the small blind and she decides to cap headsup in position with a pair of 8s.  Sure.  Seems reasonable.  I'm sure she's super balanced here, and her range isn't just a decapitated piece of shit missing virtually every single monster.  I'm sure....The board comes down 833 obviously and against her range I probably have literally north of 90% equity in a 5 bet pot but instead get to lose 6 more.  Seems reasonable.