Friday, January 11, 2013


For the first time in a while today I stone cold tilted.  I arrived at the bike kind of late (I wasn't even going to go, but I got scouting that the game was certifiably amazing and it in fact was even better than the lineup my birdie reported) and immediately lost a rack and a half (after turning a 20 bet win into an even money proposition at my previous stop in the last hour or so).  The person who currently resides in the number one position on my ray gun list (this is the list of people that, were I to have a ray gun that vaporized humans and the ability to use it with zero consequences, would be vaporized with zero consequences) was in the game, and of course he won $4k.  Yesterday after I put an admittedly silly beat on him he said to me, and I quote "I love it when I can get the fish to do exactly what I want them to do".  The hand in question was me flopping top pair king kicker and the second nut flush draw vs his (claimed) top set and putting in a lot of action.  Whoop de fucking do.  The point is that this guy is a world class piece of shit.  He complained to my boss about me when I worked there because he was stuck a bunch (rare for him...he is protected from on high) and it makes him feel like a big man to threaten the livlihood of others.  He always is dropping names, pretending like he matters, saying things like "I almost pitched for the Dodgers" and "I made 1.2 million last year, there is no possible way this money means anything to me" and "I actually throw a lot of hands away, I just try and show all the bad ones so people think I'm loosey goosey" (and then immediately power-limping the ten and the four double suited).  Some of the people on my ray gun list would cause me a little bit of remorse;  I'd feel bad for vaporizing them out of existence.  Not this guy.  I'd sleep like a fucking baby that night.

So yeah, maybe I am turning into an awful person, I dunno, but I've been holding it under control lately but today it just got away from me.  When you lose 60 bets straight I guess that happens sometimes.  When you seat change to this asshole's left and the VERY FIRST HAND YOU'RE DEALT he opens the HJ with QJo and you three bet the CO with KTs and the board runs out T98-5-4 and he looks at you like you're a retarded monkey for ever considering giving him that much action don't you know when he donks the flop he has the straight (never mind that you never raised, rather you just call call called your way to defeat).  When he opens the button with JJ and you have AT and the flop comes T73 maybe you get a little frustrated.  You know, that happens I guess, but it hadn't been happening to me for a while.  I played pretty bad, definitely gave a few river bets away, folded a hand I never should have folded (I didn't see a possible straight, decided the guy couldn't have two pair, and for the first time in literally years laid down a made two card flush on the turn assuming I had less than the 20% equity I needed to call down) and in general did all the wrong things.  I managed to quit at 4pm (only 3 hours into the bike ordeal) which I suppose is better than most players do but isn't really good enough for me.  Then I got to spend an hour driving home, which was of course fucking horrible as usual but what are you going to do why would you ever consider living less than 35 miles from the casino that'd be ridiculous right?  There couldn't possible be anywhere respectable to live within 35 chance.  Oh and I think I have the flu or at least a cold and yes I got a flu shot.  62% effective I hear.  Seriously.

So now I'll tell you a fun story.  The game is off the rails, UTG raises, the most lovable regular of all time calls, the Alabaman calls, blah blah blah, the big blind three bets, blah blah blah, 7 ways for three bets.


BB bets, some calls, a raise from the button, BB 3 bets and only the Alabaman who runs like Jesus in track shoes calls.  The button caps it, turn we go.


BB donks, the Alabaman of course call, the button raises it up one more time, the big blind calls all in for four chips, the Alabaman calls, 8 chips on the side.


All in player is still all in, Alabaman checks, button fires, Alabaman check/raises and....the big blind turns over his set of queens.  Seeing this, the button now turns over the ten and six (double sooted) for what has now become 3rd and 4th pair.  The Alabaman sits patiently, since the button hasn't called his bet.  The button realizes what has happened, surveys then scene,. including the opened set of queens, and decides to CALL THE LAST BET.  The Alabaman turns over the KJ for the stone butters (why wouldn't he take that pot off two of the biggest fish in the game?  He had 4.4 percent equity on the flop for crying out loud!) and...I mean really.  That happened.  These people...they beat me today.

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