Saturday, January 26, 2013

He Doesn't Look OK to Me

So I roll up to Commerce at 7:45 am and what do I see?  A 100/200 game going that actually looks pretty reasonable.  There's this one Asian guy I've never seen before (he probably plays alright, except he's super friendly with the guy who's obviously a spot), the GOAT candidate who plays for three or four days straight, and then of course the spot the Asian kid is friendly with.  But you know I'm not really feeling it and I tell Gary as much, I'm not gonna play, I'll just sit in this all star game they've got going over here in the 40/80 section.  So I do that and of course I get punished.  In my first lap I lose $1100, getting shown all manner of absurd shit, with young Jeff (as opposed to tall Jeff) actually singing some tune with the lyrics "Chip burner...come on and see".  Eventually my AA can't hold up vs the 77 on the TT9 board (drawing dead) and  I decide that I'm going in.  Perhaps not a great idea, but at this point I just don't ever want to sit in the actually hurts me.  And the game is 8 handed and seems pretty much beautiful (like I said, 3 spots and 5 pros all of whom have been up all night) so I sit and immediately punish the GOAT candidate for something like $3000 in the first four hands or so, calling down with the 88 on some disgusting KTJ7 board (rivered the 8 ball, side pocket, still just called), making top boat, yada yada yada blah blah blah.  So I play like an hour, the real spot quits (he said he was down a truly huge number), and I am on top of my game enough to actually already be locked up in the 40 whilst he's taking his last night.  1000 monkeys with 1000 typewriters would eventually compose a king jame's bible right?  Anyway....back in the other 40/80 all star game (and it truly becomes an all star cast when the main attraction from the other table jumps ship to my game and Tommy Kramer actually flips me the bird) things are going along swell except we just can't get any hands out of the deck.  It's so...painfully...slow.  Then it happens....

Four players limp the sb completes and I raise it up with the KJdd in the big blind.  They all call, the flop comes down Qh 7d 3c and all five of us check (like I said...good game).  I proceed to turn gin

Qh 7d 3c - Td

And bet after the small blind checks.  All four of them call.  Nothing like betting a draw for straight value on the turn welcome to commerce ladies and gentleman.  To the river...

Qh 7d 3c - Td - 5d

Bing!  The sb checks I bet and UTG raises me.  Everyone else folds and I steel myself for what needs to be done...the old river 3-bet/fold line.  Actually I do this while the button is in the tank, so my action when it gets to me is very much in rhythm.  As is his four bet, and my ensuing fold.  I mean, I have to fold that hand, right?  He checked the flop after the preflop aggressor checked, so he can't have the queen of diamonds in his hand.  The ten of diamonds is on the board, and I have the king and the jack in the pocket.  And to top it all off my hand looks like EXACTLY what it is, a flush (unless he's dumb enough to think I'm dumb enough to check a set on the flop, and given that he was sleeping between hands I suppose this is possible).  Actually as I'm typing this up I'm re-convincing myself that the fold was actually still correct, even though I shipped my hand to the muck he courtesy flashed me....98dd.  That's right, the 9 and the 8 of diamonds.  17 to 1, closing the action, Jesse hero folds the second nuts and gets shown....the 4th nuts.  Aiyah.  Somehow, someway, I actually shrugged it off and played pretty well the rest of the hour or so until they started the 60.  And holy shit was it an amazing game.

Cliff's notes....I met, I believe, unguarded, who seemed like a very nice fellow, I called four cold on the button with KK (at showdown the 65 year old capper produced AA, shouted "Ship it" in my ear, then asked "you raise me with that shit?"), ran the JJ into the AA, and generally felt like I was in every other pot.  But the best part was listening to 8 mile (who has never uttered back to back sarcasm free sentences in his life) constantly goofing unguarded (who looks like he'd be right at home in the stata center) at every possible opportunity.

8 Mile:  "So you think this game is tougher than the stars 30/60?"
unguarded:  "for real?"
8 Mile:  "yeah"
unguarded:  ", not even close"
8 Mile:  "...."

It was just hilarious.  Eventually unguarded wanted to watch some UFC fights that were supposedly on TV, and he reserved a TV and got the right channel and everything but for some reason they were just showing moto-cross racing.  He's tilting his balls off trying to figure out why the fight's not on, and I tell him that at least he's gotten to watch some good dirt bike racing.  Then when he finally figures out that he's got the wrong channel 8 Mile says "wait wait wait I got a bet down on the dirt bikes!"  Eventually we get the right channel on and the fight coming up is some 42 year old russian guy vs a 29 year old american in the light heavy weight division.  8 Mile has the line for us within seconds and places a $50 wager to win 200 on the old russian.  14 seconds into the fight the young guy lands a stiff cross and the ruskie is flailing backwards with glass in his eyes just trying not to get his life ended.  4 seconds after that the young kid has him in what to me looks like a pretty serious choke hold.

8 Mile:  Shit.
unguarded:  No he's OK, he doesn't have the neck just the chin.
Jesse:  He doesn't look OK to me.
8 Mile:  The man says he's OK....

The russian taps out in what we soon find out to be the fastest submission in UFC light heavy weight history.

8 Mile:  I gotta do some research for the next fight.  At least red black that shit.  Somethin.

Eventually I quit the game, up a fair bit and after giving Dos a spot on the epic 1/2 (two pots and one 30 hours in pro...he showed up and at last check was stepping on throats winning all the money).  I probably should have played but the 60 was just so...good.  I eventually quit because I caught myself monitoring fluctuations in my stack too closely and that meant it was time to go.  My favorite hand of the session.

I open on the button with the A2o, unguarded insta-3 bets the sb and 8 Mile takes two cold in the BB.  The hand plays out with simply lighting speed.


Unguarded bets 8 mile calls I call.


Unguarded checks, 8 mile bets, I snap call, unguarded snap calls.


Unguarded checks, 8 mile bets, I snap call going for an over call from unguarded,  which I get immediately.  8 Mile mutters something and turns over his KQ, I show my hand which is admittedly pretty tough to see the strength of, unguarded turns over the A3 for his half of the chop while grunting something and I grunt back and he declares "What are you doing!?" and I win.  Fun pot, I probably am supposed to fold the turn but getting 7:1 is pretty compelling especially when I just get to win 2 more bets when I bing 'em.

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