Once More, With Feeling

I feel like I must have already used that title. It's hard to keep coming up with titles after 220 posts. Anyway....

Last night's 40/80 game was a disaster. There is this guy named Nick (who hates me, possibly because I hate him, although it could go the other way around I'm not really sure) who is on a Lifetime Heater TM against me. Every time I play with him he wins 5+ racks. Last night was no exception, with him coloring up a rack of $10 chips into a $1000 yellow one literally every 45 minutes or so for 4.5 hours. The problem is that I don't think I'd realized the full extent of this until the middle of my session last night. I'd basically been treating this guy as a LAG, when in fact he's really just a loose passive who picks up a group 1 or 2 hand twice an orbit in a 6 handed game. For last night at least I'm not even exaggerating; he was probably raising preflop close to 30 percent of the time, and every single time he got to showdown he was turning over a hand that should have been in the top third of that range (basically I'm claiming he was getting a top 10 percent starter 3 times more often than he should have been, which is completely possible and a total mind fuck for assigning him hand ranges). The situation was complicated by another guy, whom I know to be loose and passive, basically doing the same thing on his immediate left. We've got two guys picking up monsters every hand, and somebody had to pay for, which is where I come in, as usual, blowing up almost 2 racks in the first 60 minutes of my session, then playing badly and breaking even for the next 3 hours.

Things start off innocently enough, with me opening A8o in the CO. The small blind can't possibly fold his hand because he has chips in the pot already, the big blind calls, and we see a flop of:

855

This has to be good, right? They can't have 99+ because I'd have gotten 3-bet, and how often can they have a 5? IMR, I've got the nuts right? They check, I bet, the SB calls.

2 putting a flush draw with one of the 5s

He donks. I look at the board for a few seconds but quickly come to the conclusion that there is no way on God's green Earth he could play a 5 this badly. I raise. He thinks and calls. I don't remember the river, but it was something like a ten and he donked again. God's green Earth is not what it once was, my friends. I call, and he shows me 54s and makes some speech about "anybody else I raise again" or something that's supposed to make me feel better that he couldn't lay down freaking 5 high preflop. So that was a pretty nice little cooler, and it served to get me a little frustrated that my opponent played the hand so badly and I gave him the extra $80. Moving right along....

A decent prop opens UTG, and I 3-bet with AQs. We were only 6 handed or so at the moment, so this is pretty standard (at a full game I'd actually consider mucking, as the prop's range would be super snug). Our buddy MP (the other loose passive running like Jesus) calls 3 cold in the big blind and the prop calls, and for once I flop "good".

AK7cc

I even have a backdoor spade draw. MP checks, the prop bets, and I raise my nuts. MP calls two cold instantly (danger Will Robinson, Danger...he's loose passive, but at 40/80 that doesn't mean he's taking one off here with 98 or 44) and the prop calls. I figure the prop is drawing almost dead (he probably has 3 outs, either the jacks or tens) but I'm still a little leery of whatever MP is holding over there.

9c

Aiyah. MP turbo donks and the prop calls pretty quickly. I tank for what feels like a minute (during which time Nick, that freaking asshole, makes some speech about me being scared or something and in general making fun of the fact that a human being could have to actually think about a situation instead of just flopping the nuts every hand he plays) and decide I just can't fold. MP could be doing this with the last ace and a big club, and the pot has gotten to "out of hand" proportions (10 big bets already). I call.

Ah

Wow. Just wow. MP bets and makes some speech about hoping I don't have AK, the prop folds his AdTc (note the club draw) and I make a crying call. MP tables KK, and I run a recap in my brain of both how badly I just got coolered and how much money MP let me keep. In a hand in which he flopped a set of Kings and rivered a full house, MP managed to put in zero (that's right...zero) raises against not one but two opponents who made trip aces. One of his opponents even folded the river. He didn't 4-bet preflop, didn't raise the flop, then, after disguising the strength of his hand for 2 streets executed a donk of death to blow his entire cover on fourth street. Just wow.

The next hand's degree of difficulty is very low. A steaming player opens UTG and I call 3 ways in the bb with A7hh (again we're like 5 handed or something....note that despite being 5-6 handed all the pots are going off 3-4 ways). The board comes down 755 and I c/r him. He calls the flop and the turn 8 with KJo, and of course rivers a king. His call on the turn is pretty atrocious, given the pot size (only 6 big bets) and that in the absolute best case he has 6 outs once that turn comes (there is no hand in my range that does not have at least 2 pair once that 8 hits the felt) and is actually drawing dead an astonishing percentage of the time (he probably assumed that I wouldn't fast play a 5 or a full house). But anyway he rivers a king like it's his job and ship the $600 to him.

Our next hand is the capstone of the evening, after which I fell into a funk of mubsy thinking and general idiocy for the next 3 hours (honestly last night was the first time I've really, really needed to quit a game but couldn't as a prop). PW opened UTG (again, we're 5 maybe 6 handed) and Nick called them cold in the CO. MP 3-bets the button, the small blind somehow folds, and I cap pocket jacks in the BB. PW folds (good man), Nick and MP call, and we've got a 15 small bet pot on our hands in which I flop gin:

Jc 7h 6h

I bet, Nick calls, MP raises, I 3-bet, Nick caps, MP somehow folds (lol AK nh sir) and I call. This is a mistake, as I was allowed to 5-bet but didn't realize it. The turn brings:

Jc 7h 6h - 4s

And I donk. This was my plan the whole time, since I had been thinking I'd run into the 4 bet cap and couldn't 5 bet the flop. Anyway, Nick raises and I pause to consider the board. If he's got it, he's got it, and I 3-bet. He 4-bets and I call. The river Ac brings no help and I call his bet. He tables 85hh for the flopped OESFD and I long for the 22.5 big bets being pushed to him.

I never truly recovered from this hand, I'm ashamed to say, misplaying a couple others later in the evening due to having my brain all out of whack. I missed a raise with a set of 8s when nick said "If you raise I'll re-raise" then quietly to MP "See, he's scared" on a board of J95ss-8....He'd of course flopped 9s and 5s from the SB after I'd raised 88 preflop, and the thing is I knew he was telling the truth. If I'd raised him he was going to 3-bet, and if he'd had QT I'd have had to punch out and go home or risk going on suicide watch...so I just called him down and missed $160 in obvious value. Later I somehow folded 88 on a board of 542. I'm not sure if it was correct or not, as there had been an UTG raise from a tight player, so tight that I hadn't 3-bet my 8s from the small blind and instead made my one cold call per session, and there was a raise from Nick and my mind just screamed "zomg he has it" even though the board's freaking 5 high and I have a pair of 8s. The turn K gave me comfort, but the river 8 took it all away.

So that was my night in a nutshell. I fought on for 3 hours after this disaster, basically breaking even and eventually posting a 2 rack loss, which given the severity of the initial beatings was actually a pretty good result.