Gutshotting 101

Today was my first day back at Bay 101. I played 4 hours and 15 minutes and won a whopping $9. This was actually less than I spent on lunch (that Bay 101 Cobb Classic Salad ain't cheap), so....yeah. One humorous hand though.

I'm at a pretty fishy table with Pete (actually I think he was racking up his chips to leave and wasn't even dealt into this hand) and I pick up 98o in the small blind. It folds to the cutoff who is probably just barely able to dress himself in the morning, and he open limps. This is of course ridiculously awful, but I'm happy about it as I chuck in 2 chips to see a flop after the button folds. The big blind obliges me by knuckling the table, and we see a board of:

A65r

Most of the time I'd just check and fold here, but I've been working on looking for spots to take down more of this retarded orphan pots that get created by bad players open limping in EP. The key is to know exactly when you'll quit fighting for the pot and stick to your guns. I decided that I can fire one time, as my opponents shouldn't really have that many aces in their ranges. The big blind's range is actually weighted against them (he didn't raise) and the cutoff...well who knows but he probably at least doesn't have like AQ or AK. So, to close this rambling monologue, I bet, planning to shut down if anybody calls me. The big blind folds, but the cutoff calls. "Way to go, self" I say to myself. "You're short another $20." As I'm finishing this little scolding the dealer burns and turns:

A65-7

Well look at that, I have the nuts. Time for plan B. I bet, and my opponent hems and haws in that way that I can tell he's gonna raise. He reaches down and picks up an entire stack of 20 chips and starts cutting them off into the pot. While he's doing this (he's a big clumsy), I pick up an entire stack, place it out by my first bet, and retract 4 chips. The effect is that when he looks up from finishing his raise to see my reaction, he is met by me absently staring at the felt having already 3-bet him. Normally I might try to hollywood a bit here, or at least pretend, but doing weird stuff like that throws people off sometimes and this guy wasn't going anywhere. He dutifully called, and as he did so I noted that there was in fact a flush draw on board. To the river....

A65-7-3 with no flush

I still have the absolute nuts. I bet, and my opponent does the exact same thing. He thinks for a second, hems, haws, and reaches down and akwardly picks up a whole stack of chips, then sets to raising me. Again I push a whole stack of chips forward and retract 4, causing the same confusion to happen; this time he actually asks, after he finishes his raise "Did you raise or just call?" to which the dealer replies "He raised you, again." He calls and I table my nuts. He mucks A4o in disgust (talk about a money river card) and Pete gives me shit for playing the hand badly while selling his 3.5 racks of chips to Sophorna.

One other quickie....

This pretty tight guy opens in EP and I 3-bet black jacks in late position. He calls only and we see the flop heads up, which is:

Q94 with two diamonds

He donks, and I call, which is probably a mistake. This is AQ like always, but sometimes it's a flush draw and I don't really know I just called....anyway.

Q94-8 with 3 diamonds now.

My opponent goes into the tank. He thinks and thinks and thinks and I'm looking at him and I guess he decided that I had the flush because he eventually checks. The instant his finger touches the table to check I check behind and the dealer burns and turns the river:

Q94-8-T

My opponent checks in disgust and I bet. He calls and, upon seeing my rivered gutshot, looks at his cards, shakes his cards, mutters under his breath, and mucks aces face up. I can only snicker at how badly he just got owned.