Wednesday, August 3, 2011

If You're Very Quiet...

...you can hear the hissing sound as his soul leaks out his left ear.

We have hired a new silent prop and his existence frustrates me. Fundamentally the deal is that since he is way worse at his job (playing poker) than I am, he gets special privileges like not giving up his seat. First of all, just think about that. Think about your job and how that would make you feel. So that's not great. Another problem is that while he's awful at poker (a point I will illustrate momentarily), he's awful in ways that fish can't really see. We have another guy who is pretty bad, and he's bad by just spewing relentlessly, so even fish think he's horrendous and everyone loves him. That's not this guy. This guy does this shit:

I buy the button and he opens the lojack. The dream calls the button and I defend the 76dd.

622hhd

He bets the dream folds I raise he 3s I 4 he calls. Why do I four bet? Because he NEVER has it. Ever.

5h

He calls and I cringe as he most likely now has the full 15 outs. But wait for it.

5c

I check he snap bets I snap call and he declares, flummoxxed, "Jack High". I roll, and if you're very quiet....

5 comments:

Private Joker said...

He's not way worse at his job than you are. The job of a prop isn't to play good poker; it's to show up on time, fill a seat, and keep the games going. If he does that, he's every bit as good at his job as you are. And if he's a fish and more people want to play with him than with you, then he's actually better at propping than you are.

This is the nature of what a prop is: it's not a competition to see who wins the most. It's putting butts in seats. He has a butt, he has a seat, and so do other players who want to play with him.

jesse8888 said...

Joker my point is that most fish cannot distinguish between his tag-fishy butt and my somewhat less tag-fishy butt, even though the differences are in fact staggering. When you get right down to it the reasons he frustrates me so much are:

1. He doesn't want people to know he's a prop. This shows that he looks down on the rest of us greatly, as he's unwilling to be seen as one of us.

2. He thinks he's good at poker.

3. He is just a raging tool, saying and doing all the wrong things ("This game is good, this game is bad, I want that seat, oh now now this one is better, blah blah blah, equity, winning player") in the most obnoxious ways possible that really the fact that he's even been allowed to hold on to any dollars at all just makes me sad.

Private Joker said...

Granted. How does any of that make him worse at his job than you, though?

Since when can props not be douchebags?

Dhani said...

Why do you say that he never has it when he 3 bets the flop, out of curiosity?

jesse8888 said...

Because I've watched him play and when he 3 bets the flop I've never seen him have it.