I'm Not Calling

So my first software project for the Big Potato has wrapped up and today it was time to get paid a little. The general agreement we have is that I'll code shit up for him, and in return he will coach me up on the limited texas hold them so that someday I can be like him and feel somewhat secure in my ability to make real dollars playing this game. The basic play for today was for him to sweat me Asian girlfriend style in the Commerce 20 for as long as we could get away with slash I was comfortable and then share a meal and discuss my various blunderings. The sweating part wasn't that interesting since I didn't get involved in too many hands, but he basically told me what I figured he'd tell me (and what he figured he'd tell me). His main critique (which admittedly was based on exactly two hands of interest) was that I need to a touch more "combative" in the pots I choose to play. Under normal circumstances I'd discuss this in more depth, regaling you with my folding of (gasp) a pair on the flop for a single bet, and my failure to check and raise second pair three ways against an under the gun raiser. But today I was at Commerce, and that pretty much means something terrible had to happen.

So before potato could even roll up I was there and helped start the 3rd 20/40 game. We literally had not been at it for even an entire orbit yet and as usual the floor men were trying to concurrently start a 40/80 game. Three players from my game were hemming and hawing saying "is it going to go?" and "do you have a game" and eventually Marcel came over and said "full game I'm taking a nickel and locking you up" and promptly grabbed a $5 chip from seats 4, 5, and 6 and walked them over to the new 40 game. Never mind that this is going to leave our 6 minute old must move game 5 handed. That is of no concern to Marcel; he just works there, and his job description is just to start games and keep customers happy. So anyway while this is happening a hand comes off the deck and seat 4 folds and picks up his chips, seat 5 follows suite, and seat 6 raises and says "I'll be right there". I am in the cutoff and behold the AQo and make it three bets. The small blind, who is a glittering, pristine example of all that is wonderful and awful about Commerce takes all the bets cold, as is his custom, and probably starts thinking about how he's going to berate the dealer after he once again fails to triumph with his ground breaking check/call, check/call, check/fold strategy. The opener calls and we see a flop.

All I remember about this flop is that it had and an ace in it. Hours later he and I decided it was A84r, but neither of us can be sure there was no flush draw, and we aren't exactly sure on the cards beside the ace. Of that, we are decidedly certain. So the small blind checks (because that is the first step in his above stated 6 part strategy) and the raiser...donks. No need to get fancy here, I has it, and the second part of the SBs strategy is "call" and the number of bets is of little concern to him, so it is in my best interest to to make that number as large a possible. Nearly nothing is going through my head as the SB calls both bets (phase 2 complete) and the donker just calls. I do a little work trying to hand read, but honestly at this point I'm betting til they raise me, at which point I'm calling down, and really there is nothing more to think about in this hand. The turn card pairs the ace, and this is the point where something in my brain could have (or maybe even should have) alerted me to the possibility that something was perhaps amiss. But I must confess not even a flicker of thought ran through my brain beyond "you both check? I have three aces I will bet". That is it. So the SB checks, and the donker who is now completely racked up and ready to leave for the 40/80 says "I'm not calling" and picks his cards up off the table. Nothing registers beyond sheer confusion. I decide he must think we are heads up and is informing me that the hand is over out of courtesy (lol, this would be the first such act in the history of the Commerce casino, were it true) and simply respond "But he might" and motion towards the small blind, who obligingly calls the bet, completeling the fourth leg of his six part journey. The donker is a little agitated and says "I said I wouldn't call" and folds pocket jacks in a "flashy" way, basically picking them up backs toward himself and folding them forward in a grand sweeping motion. Still in my brain....there is nothing. I even say to the small blind, out of courtesy "I saw two picture cards, probably jacks" and their owner seems a little confused himself. "Yes, jacks" he responds (lol donk/call check/fold jacks? well played sir). The dealer burns and turns....the case ace. And it hits me like a ton of bricks. The speech, the confusion, the agitation....the man was trying to tell me that he wasn't going to call a bet and if I wanted my chance to hit the jackpot I needed to just check. The small blind checks, I bet, and he folds QJhh face up (which at some point did in fact have a flush draw....perhaps not until the turn, or at least that's what me and the other guy decided hours later) and everyone looks at me longingly. Do I have it? I am stunned and can do nothing but nod....they push me the pot....I turn my cards over to prove my claim, as if anyone in his right mind would possibly lie in such a situation. The table is in awe; we just missed a $33K bad beat jack pot ($6600 of which would have been mine) because the guy folded on the turn. He personally would have won nearly $20K (meaning he was getting about 500:1 on the call). And I swear on all I keep holy (which to frank isn't very much) that it didn't even occur to me until I saw all three of those pretty aces on the board after the river fell.

GG Commerce. Good. Fucking. Game.