Get a Load of This

Live action blogging once more. Today's action finds our young hero once again stuck 3 racks after a 3 hour stint in the Jesus seat of the Neal game.

A terrible fish limps in middle position. I limp the button with J9hh. Trust me...it's FINE. Blinds call 4 ways for the spectacle that is my life.

J82 rainbow with one heart

Blinds check and the fish bets. Let's pause here and check his hole cards:

77, black

OK, that's not that terrible so far. He should raise preflop but betting here 3rd to act is correct by a landslide. He does afterall have a pair.

I raise and the blinds fold. Now at this point my opponent can pretty safely muck. There is no draw other than T9, and I'd never raise out the blinds with that hand. Actually my raise here is super exploitable, but since my opponents don't even know what that word means, let alone how to take advantage of it (fold) it's fine. He calls.

J82-7 two hearts now

That's not an asshole card. I don't know what it is, but it's beyond asshole. After the hand Omar (the BB) informs me that he folded a 7, so we are looking at an old-fashioned 1-Outter. Back to the action, wherein my opponent donks. I am stunned, sure I'm beat, but hopelessly tied to the pot. I have a flush draw and a gutshot in a 5-bet pot. So I call. Wait for it....

J82-7-9 no flush obviously

At this point the poker gods have constructed one last smoting, dropping a card that makes my opponent check! He can't have the straight and I have top two! I bet and he turbo calls obviously, and I am spared no dignity. I have poker nightmares that don't go this poorly.