Sunday, November 22, 2009


Bruno's a nice guy. He is a floor man (or maybe shift manager) at The Oaks and spends his spare time playing in the 30/60 game. The thing about Bruno, however, is that he is constantly complaining about running bad. You all know the type, the guy who is constantly bemoaning his luck, always complaining that he can't win, etc etc. The thing with Bruno is that 95% of it is true. For every person on a life time heater, there is someone in a perpetual cooler. Well, not really, since most of those people quit because as I've learned poker just isn't very fun if you're getting soul-crushed 4 days out of 5. But Bruno really runs bad.

So I'm playing live 30 today and the guy on my left puts the live straddle on. That's right its 30/60 and he's straddling. At 15/30 he was doing it every single orbit, here at 30 he's only tried it out twice so far with poor results. Bob the prop (former prop, I don't know, he wasn't wearing his badge) calls two cold, as does Hemp Man (my God, Hemp probably have the largest gap between your perceived and actual abilities I have ever seen). Bruno just calls in the small blind, and I somehow fold my hand (I wish I had a picture of that hand, cause it had to be truly, truly terrible). Straddle-fish now raises and Hemp Man says "You finally picked up a hand on the straddle eh?" and the response is "Well, we'll see what happens." I decide it is time for some humor. "I already know what's going to happen" I declare boldly. "Oh, really, what's that?" is the response from the group. "You're going to river Bruno! There, I've called my shot." The table is riotous with laughter, and even Bruno concurs "You know, this kid is on to something" They all call and there are 13 bets in the pot when the dealer flings out a beaut:

7c 6d 2d

Now I have to admit, I do not remember how all 4 bets went in, or in which order all 4 people called them, but I am pretty sure every it was something like bet call raise 3-bet call call cap call. I think Bob put in 2 and 4 bets, with Hemp Man doing the 3-bet and Bruno just kind of scratching his head wondering what happened after he donked the flop and straddle-fish doing what he does best, calling all bets. At this point I comment "Well, it's gonna be tough," since the action seems to indicate that Bob and Hemp Man have the real hands. But hope is not lost. Now the turn in the 29 small bet pot:

7c 6d 2d 9h

Bruno fires. This is odd because he basically had just called like twice on the flop after firing the first bet. Stradle-fish calls and Bob raises again. Hemp Man is undeterred by this preposterous flow of action and calls two bets cold with what later proves to be a clean 3-outter. Bruno shake his head and calls and I say "What would be a fun card here? I don't even want to speculate" and Straddle Fish says "How about a diamond?!" and calls the last bet. We've got our selves a 23ish big bet pot (that's about 1500 American Dollars) and the river brings:

7c 6d 2d 9h Jc Bruno is first to show and tables pocket Tens. How he didn't 3-bet preflop is beyond me, but otherwise his play makes pretty decent sense for The Oaks 30/60 "I will put in 4 bets on the flop with anything that resembles a draw and then check behind on the turn because hahahaha I am smarter than you and got a free card" game.

"No good, I have a jack!" declares Straddle Fish as he tables KJdd. He rivered him! Bob....mucks! Hemp Man...mucks! Bruno asks to see the hands and is show 87o (not a diamond in site) from Bob and 74dd from Hemp Man. Bruno is beside himself and asks "Could you do me a favor? Please keep your predictions about my hand to yourself from now on."

I'm just that good.

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