And On the Eighth Day, He Created the Gambooool

My father is in town visiting, so today was a very short day at Bay 101. My basic goal was to drive to San Jose, stop at the gym and grab a quick workout, then win a couple hundred bucks as quickly as possible so that I felt as if I hadn't taken the day entirely off. This is completely counter to the way I usually operate, but whatever. I'm also leaving on an 11 day vacation on Saturday (my dad is in town to house sit the apartment and care for our seven (7) mammals while we're gone) so my plan is to stay in a good life mood for the next few days and then crush the Bellagio 30/60 game Saturday and Sunday before driving to the Grand Canyon. Anyway....

I get a seat at 11:15 and lose $495 in my first orbit. My QQ sees a flop of AK9 and Vernon bluffs me off my hand, asking "Do you want to see it?" which is fish for "I bluff you I good". I get two-outtered twice (Something like AJ vs 97 on an AK7-K-7 board) and then Q7 vs J6 in a 3 way limped pot on a QJ7-J board. Then WTK flops an 8-high flush against my QQ overpair and all of a sudden I'm missing a whole rack of chips.

Things go from worse to just bad, as it takes me a full hour or so to lose my next rack of chips. After 1:45 of play I have won exacxtly 1 pot (heads up with Ace King) and chopped my small blind once. That's all. So much for winning a few hundred bucks and heading home....Then it happens.

The table has been playing pretty loosey goosey so far, with frequent 5 and 6 way pots. A pretty crappy Lag who has had several nicknames (I originally went with DB, but we settled on Ed Hardy due to his wardrobe) just sat down in the 2 seat, and WTK is in the 5-hole committing his usual atrocities against the game of poker. Mix this all together and you've got yourself a recipe for some big pots. And as we already know, I like big pots and I cannot lie.

Manny limps UTG. He is aggressive and getting better at poker, but is still a candidate for possibly chip and poo flinging. Ed Hardy raises UTG+1. Mr. Wong, who is weak tight, calls 2 cold. This is probably the best hand so far. A horrific Asian guy (whom WTK actually followed to this table because "he gives soooo much action...10 times more action than me") calls two cold. This is two cards. At this point Ed Hardy realizes that WTK has posted this hand to make up the blinds and says "You don't have to 3-bet you know." It's way too late for that...WTK 3-bets. Again, this indicates that he has two cards. Seriously, two cards. He's never folding ever no matter what and he hates to call so honestly he can have 32o here. The loose passive cutoff takes 3 to the face, which probably means he has some semblance of a hand. The button...folds. Lame. I peep my cards and behold a true beaut....98 of spades. The gears turn in my head....can I really be considering calling 2.5 bets cold from the small blind? 8 people have money in this pot already and nobody is folding ever (Manny will never, ever fold after putting money in. The big blind is super loose....he's probably coming along no matter what. And everyone else has 2 or 3 bets in already).

"Cap it!" I declare. As predicted, everyone calls. That's 8 bets, 4 ways, or 32 small bets.

8d 7h 4s

Well look at that. I have a pair, and two back-door draws. That's just overkill! I only need like one of those things here. I bet. The big blind and Manny both call, and Ed Hardy raises. The other four players....all....fold. Getting 37:2 immediate odds, all four of them chuck their hands into the muck. As we're about to see, this is a horrific beat for me.

Now Ed Hardy is setting about making his second speech of the hand (his first being when he talked to WTK preflop), something about how he wants to get everybody out and build a big pot. He's a LAG, but when he talks he's like most players; beware the power of speech. So I just call (if I thought that the players in between would consider folding anything for 3-bets I'd raise, but they're calling 100%). To the turn:

8d 7h 4s - 9d

And the Lord saw that the Gambooool was good. I check because I'm bad at poker, the big blind checks, and Manny...donks. You freaking retard what on Earth are you doing is my first thought. Then it occurs to me. 8 people played this pot for 4 bets. Big Bad Babar told me recently "Well, somebody usually has Jack Ten." Suddenly, I'm not so sure about this. I resolve to raise anyway, but Ed Hardy does it for me. Now I'm in the tank. The big blind telegraphs a fold (he literally folds out of turn, actually), so I don't have to worry about him, and Manny isn't giving anything away. I opt to call only, planning to donk safe rivers, once again because I'm horrible a poker. Writing about it now, I cannot believe I didn't pull the trigger on a 3-bet here in a pot of this size, but whatever. Manny only calls, and I instantly start berating myself for being such a pansy. It should be noted, however, that there are now 26 big bets in the pot.

8d 7h 4s - 9d - 5s

Perfect card to donk. Ed Hardy has river mubs and is probably not betting his Kings here. Also, the board didn't pair, so I didn't just lose the hand, and I actually still have top two pair. I donk. Manny looks at me like I have two heads and folds his hand. Ed Hardy is horrified (up until this point he was quite sure he had this thing locked down) and calls me. I declare "top two" and the look on his face is a pleasant mix of confusion and agony. I add on for emphasis, after it's pointed out that I capped preflop, "WTK Style".