Boom Shakalaka

My friend Chris has an old school SNES that we inevitably end up playing for hours on end whenever I visit him in Washington, DC. I was there a week and a half ago, and for the first time in years we fired up NBA Jam. As we threw down dunk after ridiculous dunk, I realized that my last few weeks have been just one giant Boom Shakalaka after another.

The past 3 playing days (Thursday, Friday, and Monday), I have posted a ten (10) rack 20/40 win. I lost a little at 40/80 one day, but basically haven't been able to miss a draw or get myself trapped into a big pot for quite some time. Friday's session at Bay 101 had one run so sick I had to write down the notes on my phone so I could tell you all about it. And away we go.

The day didn't start off so well. I sat in a just meh 40/80 game for the first 30 minutes or so and promptly lost $500 by basically never having cards on the river. When my 20/40 seat was called I promptly moved down, since the game was bad and I could always try to get back in later. At the time there was only one 20 game, but soon enough a second opened and I put myself up for a change to the table. Shortly afterward, I discovered that the empty seat in the other game (with chips and a missed blind button) belonged to a well-known whale that we'll just call IJ. As he walked back to his seat, I saw him ask Cissy (the floor woman) for a table change. I noted this information and mentally scratched myself off the table change list. I try to only change when another game is drastically better than my current situation, and if IJ moved to my table you could forget about the drastic part...and probably even the better one. Cissy actually calls me for the table change and shakes her head at me to give me a hint, and I pass politely.

Then a clusterfuck ensues. Lady Lee is up for a table change (I don't know this woman and doubt this is her real name anyway) and walks away from my table to IJ's table. I slide into her seat (excited that my empty seat, now on my right, will be filled by IJ) and proceed to go about losing a gigantic pot with AKs in which I flop a gut shot and turn a royal draw, but end up with a one pair pay off hand, during which she comes back and says "No seat, broken game" in no good, broken English and demands her seat back. Since I only slid one spot left I oblige (8 out of 10 players would give her a really hard time about this). Somehow in the confusion a bit flips over in my brain, and I decided that since Lady Lee didn't leave, I want to go to the other table. I ask Cissy and she looks at me like I have two heads, but sends me on my merry way. As I get to the table I watch in horror as IJ looks at me, looks at the other table and my empty seat, stands up, walks to my game, and posts in.

Now this is obviously what was going to happen. He was up for a change. I emptied a seat. There were only two games. Yet somehow during the last 5 minutes I became functionally retarded and lost all forward looking problem solving ability. OK, no biggie. I walk over to Cissy and she laughs at me hysterically as I ask to back to my other table. While I'm waiting, Kelvin the dealer makes the biggest mess of a down I have ever seen. He exposes cards, misses bets going into the pot preflop (someone asked that the pot bet counted down after I had bet the flop and someone had called....turned out we were missing 4 chips. Steve the floorman asks "What happened?" and I look him dead in the eye and say "It's a fucking train wreck, Steve." This is cause for concern, because in over 1000 hours at Bay 101 I've never said this to him. Kelvin says "We're short 4 chips" and Steve's response is "Who was short?" and Kelvin can only say "I don't know" to which Steve responds "And why is that?" in the most sarcastic tone possible). Kelvin in general just fucks up every 3rd hand or so until blessedly he's replaced. I play for 30 minutes or so, then change back, only to watch IJ instantly ask for a change the moment I sit down. Is there a pattern here? Does he avoid me? Does he know I'm following him, sorta? Curious. Now the real fun begins.

The table is actually really good, and I decide that it's pretty clear IJ is avoiding me and that I should lay low for a bit and let Pete do the de-chipping. I play some big pots, winning a little, then losing a little, and am basically even when the following hand comes up.

I am on the button with Ace Ten of hearts. 3 or 4 players limp to me, and I raise, only to watch the big blind 3-bet. It gets back to me 6 ways, and I cap for value. Unless the big blind has Aces, or there are two hands that combo-dominate me (like Ace King and pocket Jacks, for example), the overlay from the various trash hands held by the limpers means I surely have more than 1/6th equity in the pot. Also, I have the freaking button, and as Pete has noted, I play my best poker in gigantic bloated pots against 5 retards. So anyway, we see a flop 6 ways for 4 bets a piece of:

422 with two diamonds and one heart

Yikes. I have...not much. The big blind donks right out (remember, I capped it...Danger, Danger Will Robinson! Jack Jack Plus Alert!) and everyone calls to the player on my immediate right who raises. He's aggressive and could have just about anything. I think for a second then realize I'm looking at a 30 bet pot and call the two cold. I'd call one bet in a 15 bet pot, right? The big blind 3-bets, two more players call, Tom the Nit folds (remember this one kids), and the player on my right caps it. I called the first two, but now I have a problem, as the evidence is mounting that the big blind actually has aces. That'd be uncool, so to speak. Undeterred, however, I donkey call two more bets, and after the dust settles we have a 45 small bet pot being contested by 5 hands. Only Tom the Nit has folded.

422-9 with two diamonds and two hearts. Tom the Nit walks away in disgust.

Eureka! I have picked up a nut flush draw! The big blind now checks because he's scurrd, and the other two players (who's lines so far this hand have been call/call 2/call - call, call-2, call) predictably check. The player on my right now...checks! I am confused. 5 ways I'd only need 10 outs to make this a value bet (!), but I'm not sure I'd get that kind of action (someone might fold) and one of the two calling players could be looking to spring a check/raise with a full house. I check it right back. The river brings.

422-9-4 with now, blessedly, 3 hearts.

I have made the "nut" flush. The only problem is that the board is double paired. The good news, however, is that two players absolutely cannot have a full house (the big blind, and the player on my right). The bad news, however, is that the other two players just might be bad enough to still hold one or more 2s or 4s in their hands. The big blind checks....the first player...checks. The second...checks! I win! The player on my right checks and the big blind almost fast rolls his hand before I have a chance to bet. Everyone is stunned. What on Earth can I have? One by one, however, 3 of them call me (someone asked to see the hands. The big blind had Kings, caller A had 8s, and the aggro player on my right over-over called with pocket 5s which is just incomprehensible to me). I roll my hand and the table is just in awe of how good it is that I am currently running. At this point Tom the Nit walks back and for some reason comments about how he folded 99 on the flop when facing two more bets cold. He catches shit for this for the next 45 minutes, despite the fact that it's actually an expert fold.

So now things are heating up and for some reason (I think because a regular, BA, was getting on my nerves) I table change for a 3rd and final time to IJ's table. The instant I sit down, he again asks for a change and Pete texts "You know IJ avoids you" to which I can only respond "The more you know...do doo do do". IJ leaves, but is replaced by a 40/80 mega-lag-fish that played with me about a week ago and managed to stand out in an insanely soft game. At this point I have 4 racks of chips, but am up only $500 for the day as I bought my customary 2 and lost at 40/80 to start things off. And without warning, Kelvin shows back up for another round at our table. Most of the same players are still here (I think it's been 2 hours since his last train wreck) and he is promptly given an acceptable amount of shit. Then I win $1000.

The aforementioned LagFish opens and I 3-bet AJo. Somone else calls and he caps it. On the turn the board reads:

QT4-8 rainbow

Which you'll note gives me a double-gutter. I call his bet, and when the 9 gives me gin on the river, he somehow only checks and calls. He mucks quietly, in a way that suggests maybe I wasn't as far behind as I thought.

Next orbit he opens again in late position (he's been opening over 50% of the time it's been folded to him) and this time I 3-bet next in on the button with A5o. This is borderline insane, but I've decided I'm taking a stand against this guy, one way or another. He caps, and this time it's heads up to a flop of:

854

That's a pair! I call him.

854-8

That's two pair! I have you now! I call.

854-8-A

LOL OK so this is one of those points in the hand where you completely change what you hope your opponent is holding. I wanted him to be barreling off with Ace King. Now I'm hoping for pocket Jacks. He checks. I bet. He calls and mucks in disgust. Nice read Jesse....

I 3-bet him again, this time with KTs and flop a king. He calls me all the way down and mucks. I don't remember the board or anything, just that he gave me $160. By this point he's on his 4th rack, and in the interim periods between me taking his money, he's giving it to virtually everyone else at the table. The interesting part is that I'm playing basically no other pots. I simply wait 10 minutes, enter a pot with him, drag it, and repeat.

The next amazing pot happens with me holding Ten-Nine offsuit in the big blind. We see an unraised flop 5 or 6 ways of:

QJ9 rainbow

Now that's curious indeed. I check and someone in early position bets. A few calls go in, and I call only (I feel this isn't a spot to play a draw aggressively for 2 reasons. Someone else often holds a ten, or worse, a made straight. This is awful. Also, this is the kind of board that people flop two pair on and make full houses with). The turn is very interesting:

QJ9-T with a flush draw now

I check because I don't like my hand much, and a bet and two (2) calls go into the pot, including one from the awful, awful LagFish. Now I might have the action wrong somewhere, but at the time I counted down the pot and determined that it had 10 bets in it. If I'm not out against a better two pair, I have odds to try and boat up. This is a very questionable assumption, but given my implied odds when I'm good (they rate to be huge, as I can check to the guy who just bet, who obviously has a King, and potentially check/raise the field) I opt to call. In retrospect in front of my computer I don't think I like this call, but truth be I'll make it every single time.

QJ9-T-9

Boat up indeed. I check, and the bettor from last street, checks...I cry. The LagFish, however, bets and the player between us folds. Now I'm in a conundrum. Do I raise? The LagFish's hand is very hard to read. He didn't raise the previous street, so he shouldn't have a King, right? He's loose and aggressive! If he doesn't have a king, what's he betting? A boat? I have bottom boat. The worst possible boat. Yikes, all of a sudden I'm not so sure I'm happy about this. If I do raise and he 3-bets, I have to cry and call and might not get called by the remaining player. If I just call, surely he'll chuck in one more bet and I don't have to risk getting owned. Fine, I just call. The other player calls and the LagFish quickly (and in turn) rolls K7o for the straight. I declare "Full House" and roll my baby boat, and the other player courtesy shows another King. Pete nods approvingly and gives me the thumbs up sign, so I think he approves of my seemingly ridiculous call with a full house.

The next orbit (I don't contribute to a pot voluntarily in the interim), I find myself staring at JTo in blind in a 6 way unraised pot. The flop is:

KQ4 with two spades

The LagFish bets on my immediate right, and I just call. Two other players call.

KQ4-3

He bets again. I call, and one player in EP calls once more.

KQ4-3-8 with no flush

The EP player checks. I resign to fold, and the LagFish...checks. Quickly I think about what's going on. The pot is large, and my hand looks like bullshit. I opt to continue my surrender and check behind. The EP player rolls T9 of spades for...Ten-High. The LagFish looks at his cards, looks at the board....I realize he's about to muck! He can't beat the Ten-High! I hold my breath, reason taking hold that this can't possibly be true. Then it happens. He mucks. I wait for the dealer to collect his hand and stuff it into the muck, then roll my Jack-Ten for the win. The table simply cannot believe what it has seen. Pete comments that "See, I'm over here trying to hold on with a set of Jacks, and you're winning what that!". Pete lost a blind steal hand with JJ on a board of Kc Xc Ys - Jc -Zh by only calling down when the small blind donked into him on the turn with KK. I vow to play open ended straight draws a tad more aggressively in the future.