Thursday, May 14, 2009

Bad Things Man, Bad Things

Curiously I'm in a bit of a funk, due to a pair of incidents both related and not to poker. I say curiously because I'm having the best monetary month of my life, despite posting a $2300 loss just yesterday.

First, on Tuesday of this week I got a late start to my poker day because I had lunch with a group of friends. We do lunch about once a month, and this month we even invited Tommy Angelo along and gave him a free roll in the credit card roulette game (blessedly I did not have to pay, bringing my life time record up to 2-2, with an average of 4.5 people in the game). Anyway, I got to Garden City around 2pm and restricted myself to playing just 20/40. Three 2 plus 2 friends were in attendance, and the four of us hopped from table to table like rabbits on crack (at least Yoda and I did). I dumped almost a rack in the 8/16 game before getting a 20/40 seat, won over 2 racks, then slowly but surely lost my chips back until I left around 7:30pm up about 300 bucks for the day. I left early because I ran into Fivos at the gym and this reminded me that I didn't really have a good excuse for missing a regular home game my friends were playing that night....yet.

On my way from Garden City to Mountain View, Danielle called me in quite the tizzy. It seems that our dog, Tyson, had managed to get himself sprayed by a skunk, and Danielle didn't know how to proceed. I immediately suggested the time honored hill billy tradition of tomato juice, which she quickly decided was a bunch of hogwash. Turns out tomato juice just masks the smell, sort of like burning a match after you devastate a bathroom. Anyway, I stopped in at the home game and called Danielle again, and this time she made it a little more clear that she wanted me to come home and help deal with the situation. At this point in the story one might ask "How did the dog get skunked? Don't you live in suburbia? Why was he off leash in the presence of skunks?" I will leave the answers to these imponderables as an exercise to the reader, or perhaps Danielle.

So home I went, and under the hose went Tyson. Turns out the correct solution to the problem is a mixture of baking soda and either vinegar or hydrogen peroxide. The compounds react to release free radicals that bind....yada yada yada. It sorta worked, but that night Tyson was still too smelly to sleep indoors and had to spend the evening under the stars on our deck (in a dogloo, with a low temperature of like 56....just so nobody calls the SPCA on me or anything).

Yesterday Tyson was still quite a bit smelly and was obviously depressed. He wasn't wagging his tail, and was obviously longing for human contact. He's a very affectionate dog you see....Danielle and I did still have to go to work, though, and my day couldn't have been worse. I spent several hours in the 20/40 game, at first winning then slowly but surely getting myself stuck $800. I was about to leave to go watch Game 7 (GG Caps), when a fantastic must move 40/80 was called down and, despite having only 60 minutes left in my day, I could not resist (I tried this exact tactic Monday and it resulted in a $3000 win). I lost $1500 on some incredible suckouts, with Hung (a regular who talks constantly and is just a huge pain the ass) doing most of the damage. On my final hand, when I was racked up and ready to leave, I raised AKo under the gun. Hung called out of the big blind (his shenanigans had been very bad today...he'd actually 'play slapped' my hand twice pretending like he could stop me from raising and after I'd lose a hand he'd say things like "How stupid can people be? Never learn...." and the like) and the board ran out:


He check/raised me on the river and I paid off his 64. He said "Thank you so much it's been so great beating you and taking your chips". As I was walking away I said "fuck you to, Hung" and he kept talking and eventually started blowing me kisses (something he'd done a few times before and makes me just want to punch him in the face) and then I called him a punk ass little bitch and walked to the cage. He is a punk ass little bitch, but losing my cool like that is just unacceptable and I felt horrible. The hockey game cheered me up a bit, and afterwards Danielle and I took Tyson to Scrub A Pup and repeated the baking soda and vinegar bath. Today I couldn't even bring myself to drive down to San Jose, for fear I'd see Mila (who was at the table) and get a lecture from here (which I deserve) about losing my cool at the table. I decided to play at the Oaks and posted a $999 win, so I guess it worked out....but yeesh, that was scary. If I hadn't put some distance between the two of us I think I might have actually hit him, and that could get me suspended or even banned from Bay 101, not to mention in trouble with the police and so forth. And from now on Hung, who is irritating but at least doesn't usually target me specifically, is going to be even worse. The moral of the story here is that it's very important not to lose your cool at the table, especially if you're doing this for a living.

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