Thursday, April 30, 2009

And Now, A Guest Columnist

Over the last 9 months I've developed friendships with several other players. Specifically, there is a group of 5 of us that often exchange emails discussing hands (can I raise this river?), bad beats (so then he rolls the T5 soooted), poker etiquette (should I tell the fish on my right he's telegraphing his folds, or just try to get him on my left?), or generally comical situations (so after the guy declares "Queen High", WTK fastrolls QJ on the AK842 board for the nut nothing and drags the pot. The other guy courtesy shows QT). Recently Pete shared this gem of an email, which he's given me permission to basically steal and put up on my blog. And away we go. The names have been changed to protect the some cases. I kept the props names the same cause I mean, they're props....They're not real people, right?

Subject: World's Worst Poker Fold
From: Pete
To: Jesse et al

So I'm sitting at not-so-good table at Bay101, and have a bunch of funny hands with Gerry the prop. I don't normally show my hands, but these were some funny situations, so...

========Hand 1:========
1 limper, 1 poster, I complete SB with Q8o. Gerry raises in the BB (monster alert!), everyone calls.

Flop Q-Q-5, two spades. Gerry bets, folded back to me, I c/r, he calls.

Turn Q. I bet, Gerry calls.

River non-spade 2. I check. Gerry literally tanks for like 20 seconds and then finally bets. I c/r, he tanks for another 10 seconds and finally calls with KK. He tells me he almost checked the river (true).

After this hand, JH/Steve/Gerry go on and on for about 10 minutes about my play, and how he almost checked the river or folded after I c/r'd. JH and Steve laught at the thought of folding KK and think Gerry is being funny. Gerry actually says afterwards "I was going to muck on the turn except when the 3rd Q came out. Then I had to call". This is what Steve the prop and JH start bawling about and almost fall out of their chairs. Gerry says, "no, I'm serious. I was going to fold KK on the turn."

========Hand against JH========
JH opens on button, I defend BB with 95o.

Flop Q-3-2 two diamonds. I c/r, JH calls.

Turn 7r. I bet, JH calls.

River Tr. I bet, JH calls.

I say "Nine-high" and show my hand, JH shows T8dd and takes down the pot. JH starts laughing and pointing at my hand and saying to Gerry "he c/r'd me with 9-high and you're thinking about mucking Kings???" lololol.

========Hand 2:========
Gerry limps in EP, 2 limpers, I complete A2o in SB, BB checks.

Flop A-A-2 rainbow. Checked to LP (John) who bets, I call, Gerry calls.

Turn Tr. I bet, Gerry thinks and calls, John mucks.

River Q. I bet, Gerry thinks and calls. I show my hand, Gerry says "no good", I'm like whaaatt? Then he looks again and says "oh, it's good." and flips over 22.

So these series of events leads us to hand 3, which I'm sure will brighten everyone's day as to how bad I am at poker.

========Hand 3 (aka World's worst fold):========
Gerry raises UTG, I 3-bet button with 99, he debates for a split second (maybe fake?) on 4-betting and then calls.

Flop A-Q-5 rainbow. He c/c's.

Turn 9r. He c/r's, I call.

River Q. He thinks a bit and then bets, I muck faceup. Gerry says "ok, we're even now". I say to Gerry, "that's twice I pwn'd you today."

YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT, I mucked Nines full. :-( It's amazing I am not actually busto at this point. So in case you guys ever feel bad about making a bad play, refer to this hand when you're feeling down, and console yourself with the knowledge that no, you are not the most idiotic poker player in the world.

========Hand 4:========
1 limper, I raise black 77 in MP, Gerry cold-calls on button, blinds/limper call.

Flop A-6-5 two spades. I bet, Gerry calls, everyone else folds.

Turn 5s. I check, Gerry tanks for 8 seconds and then bets, I c/r, Gerry tanks and mucks. I flash and say "flush draw" and Gerry is silent.

========Hand 5 afterlude:====
So I show the bluff in Hand 4. A few hands later, Gerry raises UTG and I call in the BB with K7s. Flop is: 8-2-2 rainbow. I c/f and say out loud, "I have to fold -- there's no way I can bluff Gerry anymore today." The table isn't quite sure what to make of it.

And this concludes our guest post by Pete, Alpha Lag of the Bay 20 game.


pdscjr said...

When he folded the 99 full, had he forgotten he had 99 or misread the board? There's no way he puts Gerry on AQ right?!

jesse8888 said...

The world will never know....

Yodaman said...

Sick fold haha

btw who is Pete anyway, I always see his name on your blog and I never quite knew who Pete was.

Perhaps an email with a response of "I must protect the innocent" will do

Captain R said...

Pete seems really bad. Did you make these hands up? Because they don't make any sense, especially folding 9s full.

No wonder you can make $50/hr. playing against these guys.

jesse8888 said...

Rumor has it Pete makes more than that ;)