Best Break Even Day...EVER!

Today was truly epic. I hope that I can do the epic-ness (is that a word? epic-ocity perhaps? Can I get a jabberwock up in here please?) justice in mere words that I start to write at 11:15 with my energy level falling rapidly.

Where to beginning...ah yes, I know just the spot. I woke up wonderfully refreshed at 10am. I've been getting up early the last few weeks (usually seeing an 8), so this was quite a sleep in. I stuck to my new found plan of eating a large breakfast (and thus minimizing the amount of casino food I consume) and got on the road at about 11am. En route I receive a text from Hammerin Hank, asking "Bay or Garden today?". I respond "Garden" (texting while driving is illegal now in California, as it should be), but a few minutes later ask "Is Stockton Thunder there?". The previously written about Stockton Thunder was at Bay 101 on Wednesday making a freaking mess out of everything, dropping probably something like $3000 (he even bought me a Coke....not as cool as the shot of Grey Goose from Lamont Jordan, but better than a kick in the balls IMO). If he was back for more, I wanted a piece of the pie. Hank informs that he is not, so I bang a right from 101 South to 85 and continue on to Garden City. I check my email while waiting and find this gem from Hank that he sent in the early hours of the morning:

Subject: Bay or Garden today?

Body: I miss you :)

Now what Hank probably meant is either 1) It's more fun to play with friends or 2) I miss taking all your chips. I'm not really sure....

I've been in the Garden 20/40 game (there are two tables....neither looks great by local standards) for less than 15 minutes when I get a vibration in my pants. "Stockton Thunder in the house!" I tell Hank to list me for both games and that I'm on my way. I rack up my $23 profit and get immediately back into my car.

21 minutes after receiving my last hand at Garden (a time I am convinced must be some fashion of world record), I am dealt into the first hand of Bay 101s 3rd 20/40 table of the day. Pete is on my immediate left, just finishing his lunch, and comments that he's been waiting for 45 minutes. I run good. Pete also drew the Ace of Spades for the button, and since he's on my immediate left, I again run good. I play 20/40 for about 30 minutes and manage to lose 7 bets ($280) before they call me for 40/80. I played about 4 hours of 40/80 on Tuesday after Stockton Thunder moved up and gained a good bit of confidence while losing only 4 bets. Today there were 2 tables going, both of which looked softer (or perhaps just more well known) than usual, so I took the seat.....but first, an aside.....

Professor Ben called me to let me know he was playing at Garden City. I told him I was at Bay 101, despite my earlier report to the contrary (which was true at the time) and that I'd collect the $60 he owed me some other time. He asked how the 40/80 games looked, and I responded that they looked pretty darn soft, so soft in fact that I was sitting in one of them. I also informed him that Jeremy Roenick was in the 80/160 in a follow up text message. Ben's response:

"Is he lighting money on fire? Put me up for all 3 games thanks!"

The reason Ben owed me $60 is that I have no faith in Penn State. Danielle's father, Dan, wanted to put a bet down on the Rose Bowl with me. We decided on 60 dollars at 9.5 points, me taking Penn State + the points. Immediately after booking this bet I texted Ben and asked him for the easiest way for me to put $60 down on USC. He booked the bet for me, and I even got a small middle as he was able to put 66 to win 60 down at USC -9. Anyone who watched the Rose Bowl can tell you that it's a good thing I got in touch with Ben.

So, back to the 40/80 game. I've been swearing I'm going to take more shots at that game for a while now, but I just haven't grown the stones to do it. Every time I play I seem to make mistakes because I feel like everyone must be so good and that I have to play so tricky to get their money. After putting in about 10 hours yesterday and today, I'm very confident that I can be a solid winner at that game, as the players still make a lot of elementary mistakes. Today I lost about $200 at 40/80 in almost 7 hours, and it went a little something like this....of course I'm going to leave out the hands I win, and yes it's often easy to come up with a long story of bad beats if you play long enough...but all of this happened over the course of about 200 hands:

I open-raise AQ offsuit from UTG. Only the big blind calls and we see a flop of:

433r

That's pretty darn good I say. I bet and he calls. The turn brings a

2

I say to myself "Self, that's another great card!" as he checks. I bet again, and once more he calls.

6

Well, I didn't pair up, but I almost certainly have the best hand. He's not going to call me without a pair, so I just check behind. He rolls A6o for....one pair. That he rivered. Let us think for a moment about just how badly he played that hand. Got it? Read it again if you have to....

A few hands later it folds to the button who open raises. The villain from the previous hand calls 1.5 bets cold from the small blind because he's terrible (you should really never do that unless you have Aces or Kings and want the big blind in the hand), and I decide to have a look with Q7o. This call is questionable, but the button is raising a huge range and I figure the SB to have a similarly wide range and now also know that he plays horribly post-flop. I figure that's enough to call getting 5:1 closing the action with the statistically average hand in limit texas hold em (I have heard that if you run out a 5 card flop, then deal two cards off the top, there is almost exactly a 50/50 shot Q7 will beat the random two off the top). The flop is:

QJ5 with two hearts

I have top pair. Victory is all but assured!!! The small blind donks....This is strange and foreign to me, but I raise anyway. The button folds quickly and the small blind just calls. The turn and river are small meaningless cards that don't complete the flush. I bet the turn and he calls, and check behind on the river. He rolls QJ for top two pair, with which he put in a single aggressive action post-flop in a 3 handed blind steal situation. Again sir, you play good. Really, really good. I order a steak with my Sklansky bucks.

Eventually I move to the main game and more of the same happens. I complete my small blind with 76o in what turns out to be a 6 handed pot for one bet. The flop is:

764

And to be honest, I gotta say, I'm pretty happy about it. I bet and two players call. On the turn Jack I get raised and am just like "Wow are you kidding me? People slow play their straights up here to?" I call down and get shown 85 suited for the flopped nuts. How many bets could have gone in on the flop? 4. The answer is 4. 3 handed, cause somebody else flopped a flush draw. But he made expert slow play because that's just what you do when you flop the nuts wouldn't want to lose customers no no no no can't have that....Jesus Christ.

A few hands later I get a free look in the big bind with 32o (a "beaut" as Hank would say). The flop comes down:

T32 all hearts

And already I'm running through all the ways I'm going to lose this hand. I donk though, as there was no preflop raiser (ergo my seeing of the flop with 3-high) and get raised by "Hung", a regular player who, as best I can tell, can only be out-crazied by WTK. Everyone else folds and now I'm very happy because I know exactly what I'm dealing with here. I 3-bet and he caps it. Uh-oh I say. Time to just call and see what happens on the turn. I resolve to donk any turn that isn't a heart. The dealer burns and turns:

T of spades

The astute reader will note that I have just lost the hand, as I have made the ever-pathetic 3-pair. I check, Hung bets, and I fold my hand face up. He takes pity on me and shows his Ace of Hearts and Ten of Clubs. I comment that only I can flop two pair and be a dog heads up. The table has a good laugh, but it's hands like this that kill your win rate. You get a free look with a garbage hand and end up losing $160 dollars more than you had to....

A few orbits later....

I 3-bet a raise after WTK cold calls with pocket Queens. Sarah calls 3 bets cold on the button because she's awful (this woman plays 80/160 regularly...today was the first time I had ever sat with her and at first I was very scared....she must be great, right? No. She's freaking terrible) and Hung caps it from the small blind. We all call and the pot is like 5, maybe 6 handed...I'm not even sure. Like I said, I've got Queens here. I'm feeling good about life. It's important to remember here that neither Sarah nor WTK can be beating me, cause neither raised preflop and both would 100% of the time with KK or AA. The flop is:

KJ5 with two hearts

Hung, the preflop capper...checks. The big blind checks, and it checks all the way around to me and I bet. Sarah calls on the button, hung calls, somebody else calls, and so does WTK. We five ways to the turn and the pot is formally huge.

J

I'm saddened by this card. Hung checks again. By this point his line looks freaking ridiculous. Preflop cap, then check/call check....It checks all the way to me and I decided to check. Honestly, that Jack is a pretty bad card...against rational cappers and cold-callers a jack is pretty hard to conjure. Against WTK, Sarah, and Hung there are jacks all over the place. Sarah checks behind and I'm not sure if I just avoided getting check/raised or missed like 5 bets. The river is:

8, for a final board of KJ5-J-8

Hung bets, and I'm thinking it looks like he flopped KK and got super tricky and I just saved $160 dollars. Everyone folds to me and I call. Hung rolls 88 and I feel as though someone has removed all the air from the space around my face. The sick part is that while I may have misplayed this hand, there is no chance Hung was folding on the turn had I bet...

A while later a player who will in short order prove himself to be a card carrying member of The American Association of Mentally Handicapped Poker Players open limps and WTK raises. I'm in the Jesus Seat on his left (of course) and behold the wonder that is AK suited. I have to say, no other hand, not even black aces, looks as pretty to me preflop as a suited up big slick. I 3-bet and they both call. The flop comes down:

994 all black cards

That ain't bad. It ain't good, but it also ain't bad. They both check to me and I do my thing with the betting and the card carrier calls and WTK pops me with a check/raise. This means he has one of the following:

A pocket pair like less than TT
Some sort of 4
A flush draw
Two overs
Some sort of 9

I call because the pot's big and I figure I can improve. Plus it's freaking WTK....I might be winning. Card Carrier calls.

The turn wasn't helpful to me, and card carrier checks. WTK bets, and I call again getting 8.5 : 1 odds to draw at what's probably a 6 outter but might even be the best hand. Card Carrier now springs to life and check/raises, and WTK 3-bets. I fold as fast as humanly possible. The river comes off, I'm not sure what it was, and they both show K9o for the flopped monster.

Now think about that...preflop, not only did I have them both dominated (which is when you have one of their cards and your other card is higher....you're usually 70something percent to win in that case...in this case it's sort of like just playing a 9 against an Ace, since we both have a king), but they had each other's outs! I checked it out on twodimes and I'm over 80% to win the hand. Sick. So sick.

The same two guys quickly get into a mess again, with our Card Carrier raising and WTK 3-betting him. I have AK of diamonds on the button and cap it up. Our flop comes down

JT9 with one diamond.

They both check to me and I bet. They both call. It's a scary board, and I'm planning to check behind on most turns. I'd of course bet Queens, as I'd have the nuts. I'll also bet Aces, as that hand is good enough. A king I'd check for sure, because while it's a good hand for me the chances that one of them has a Queen and would have made a straight are very high. But no, what card do I get? The asshole card.

Ace of Spades.

They both check and again I bet. They both call.

9 for a final board of JT9-A-9

They both check, I bet, and the Card Carrier raises. I call him and he rolls AA. Way to hit that one outter for $240 sir. Ni Han. Seriously, and I'm not making that up, I was checking a King and perhaps betting a diamond.

Our final hand against the Card Carrier goes as such. He limps and I raise. I hold the Ace and the Queen of the offsuit and he calls the raise. My eyes behold a most glorious flop of:

KJT

That's right, I just flopped the stone nuts. He checks and calls my bet.

Q

I still have the stone nuts....he check/raises me, and there are two flush draws on board so I don't even pop him back because the fear of getting free-rolled is so high (if he has an ace-high flush draw here he can't lose the pot but 9 cards give him a scoop....I can't win the whole thing, but 9 cards make me lose it....hence, he'd be free rolling). The river is:

Q

He doesn't even bet and rolls his Ace before I can act. He had 3 outs in the deck and he hit two of them!!!!

Despite this fantastical run of shit, I managed to leave the 40/80 table stuck on 200 bucks or so. I went back to 20/40 for an hour and posted a one rack win, allowing me to quit the day a 60 dollar winner. As I said before....best break even day....EVER!