Something May Have Just...Changed

Today, for the first time in what feels like and could literally be years, I felt like a fucking bad ass in a card room. I've mentioned a few times recently about how I've been regaining confidence, but this...this was a little different. I spent the day at Commerce and was confident that I could safely sit in any limit hold 'em game in the room. I played 40. I lost a rack and a half, as is my custom, mostly to horrendous beats and cold decks and what not, before taking a 60 seat. The 60 then broke, with me getting buttoned. I was not deterred, played 4 hands of 40 and then was informed we were restarting the 60. I drew the button because there is sometimes justice, and watched astonished as winning pros, players I respect, turned down seats in what to me appeared to be a just fantastic game. And it was exactly that; a fantastic game. I played some fun hands, and some not so fun ones, and on the day I ended up winning a little, but none of that was really important. All that mattered from today is that after years of missing in action my swagger may have actually come back to me. I can't say for sure yet, but something about everything today was just...different. I felt sorta like I did back in 2008, when the 20/40 game was shiny and new and every decision excited me and heightened my senses. This whole time I've been down in LA that critical element that all winning poker players seem to have has been missing from my arsenal. I've just been going through the motions, worried about money and the assholes and the angle shooters and getting out played and all manner of other things. But now, finally, I think I have it. And everyone better get out of my way.