Tuesday, August 10, 2010

He Thinks He's a Pro

So there I was yesterday, minding my own business in the main game with my ear buds stuck to my head, basically just trying to stay as emotionally detached from the game as physically possible when Jeff, an irritating regular who must drop tens of thousands of dollars a year in the game (he's there every single weekday for at least 4 or 5 hours, often longer) comes over and starts whispering something to Tak (another regular who is actually probably wins). Now I'm in the 4 seat, Tak in the 6, and Jeff is standing sorta behind the 5, and I realize he points directly at me because he lives in a fantasy world where he can say and do anything he wants with no consequences or concern for what others think. So I turn my head to focus my ears (the music is off, as it often is....yes I use the ear buds simply as a giant "Do Not Disturb" sign from time to time just like 99.9% of other poker players) and all I catch is him snickering and saying "He thinks he's a pro" before Jeff walks back to the must move game to continue stoking his ceremonial chip pyre. Tak just kind of laughs and takes it in stride pretending nothing happens, and as soon as Jeff is gone I say to him, without removing the ear buds, "Does he think that I can't hear him?" and Tak turns blue. Like actually blue. He's a fairly nice guy and his reaction makes it clear that even though Jeff said the comment pretty loudly it wasn't one of those "I'm going to pretend like I'm being quiet even though I know you'll hear me just as a sort of busting your balls sort of thing" but rather an actual attempt to be covert and not have me hear what was said. He's immediately embarrassed for Jeff's idiocy, and I say to him "Don't worry, it's not your fault he's an ass" and go back to ignoring every human being around me and thinking about how I just laid down topsies to a turn raise and the guy flashed me the stone nuts and I'm going to make changes and start winning again because I've gotten too lazy and have just resigned myself to showing down hopelessly in an effort to not be exploitable. Jeff is quite a sight, to be honest. He's terribad, doing all the things that terribad players did in like 2007 that even most of the complete idiots have figured out aren't really action items on the road to riches. And he bitches constantly about bad beats, the dealers, etc, etc. In short he acts as a role model for the players who aren't quite complete assholes yet but strive to be. I smile every time he loses, which is saying something given what a bad steward of his chips he is.

So I kinda forget about this comment and eventually Jeff is at my table trying to talk to me and be nice, and I just sit there and take it and whatever. He's a douche-bag, but it's easier to be nice and have fun then to be a prick (at least for me). So eventually he's almost out of chips, as he always is because of the aforementioned fact that he's fucking terrible, and sends his last 5 chips into the pot preflop. There is much action, perhaps a raise, I don't know, but the flop is seen at least 5 ways:


And at least 3 players go 4 bets. It was in fact most likely 4. Remember, Jeff is all in and just waiting patiently for the showdown. The turn is an a brick and 2 bets go in from at least 3 players, and again there could be 4 of them I just don't remember. The side pot is ginormous, and the iddy-biddy 25 chip main pot is practically getting in the way of the action. The river falls:


And there is a bet and Tak pays off to see the guys T9cc. A mountain of chips, something like 15 or 20 bets, is being pushed to the winner when I realize Jeff hasn't mucked his hand yet. Holy crap, this is gonna be hilarious. Yup, there it is...Jeff tables Q8o FTW and wins $125 for his efforts. If he'd started the hand with even $200 he'd have dragged a 2 racker, and the smile on my face doesn't fade for 15 full minutes.

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