I Can Haz...Warrant
Unless you've actually been living under a rock, you've heard that the FBI basically shut the shit down in the past 24 hours. I'm not completely up to date, but what seems to be true is that US based players can no longer make the gamble on Full Tilt or Poker Stars. Obviously this is Defcon 2 level catastrophe for lots of my friends (Babar, OnTheRail, and DosXX) and a pretty BFD for many more (the DC guys in general, Bellatrix, DougL), myself included. I had basically just figured out how to make money playing online poker, and for the first time ever it was a part of my plan for world domination. In the first 14 days of this month I had made just shade under $4K playing on the internet; admittedly I was running hot like the sun, but in the near term future my hope was to make 4 figures a month pretty easily off of FullTilt between actual winnings and bonuses. Now I'm just hoping I can get my money out sometime before the 4th of July.
I Can Haz....Old
Appropriately, Los Federales attacked on my birthday, christening it "Black Friday" to the entire poker world. I am old, or at least will be next year, and honestly didn't enjoy my birthday very much. Like, I guess nothing bad OTHER than whole can't play poker on the internet thing happened. But it wasn't exactly great. As an aside, Thursday was a day of unicorns and pixie dust, spent at Disney Land for Danielle's birthday, during which she reminded me nearly constantly of how old she was (which is 2 years younger than me). I ate way too much amusement park food and spent the next day (my birthday) going to the bathroom every 2 hours, got blisters on my sore feet, and a got just a bit sunburned. But honestly it was still fun, I just wish it could happen on some day other than the day before my birthday and didn't cost in excess of $100.
I Can Haz...Job
It's official; I am a 40/80 prop at the Bicycle Club. My orientation was....Friday (AKA Black Friday AKA My Birthday), and during it I learned many useless and infuriating things. In the useless camp there was lifting with my legs, using a properly inspected ladder to reach high places, and not wearing gloves or loose clothing while operating machinery with moving parts. On the infuriating side we had the explanations that we have to work overtime on zero notice or can be summarily fired (yet need to give 3 hours notice if we plan to miss work), are not allowed to circulate or sign petitions (not that I would, it just seems un-American), and that employees can cash their checks at the main cage free of charge (my immediate response of "that should be against the law" was met with confusion). But for now I am all badged up and good to go, so if you want to play you some 40 you know where to find me.
I Can Haz...House
This is I guess the biggest one, which was also finalized on the day formerly known as my birthday; Danielle closed on the house she put an offer in on 3 months ago. It was a short sale and the people who lived there (who were originally thought to be the owners but were in fact tenants) were a little slow moving out and there was some hassle with the bank but eventually everything worked out and holy fucking shit she bought a house. Today we spent 8 hours cleaning it, during which I determined that we might be screwed, as there is just so much to be done. But whatever, we made progress.
So like I said, life got kind of fast all of a sudden, but I'm managing. And hey, I have lots of free time now that I won't be bothered with all that super profitable internet poker I was playing from the comfort of my bedroom.