A Poker Hand is a Conversation

First of all, I have to give some credit to (I think) DougL for inspiring this post. He explained on 2p2 once very elegantly the conversation that was going on between two limit hold 'em players during a hand. All hands are a conversation. Some are short, some are mostly one sided, but some are extremely animated. Here is a hand I played last week annotated to explain the conversation my opponent and I were having as we launched bet after bet into the pot. As with any conversation based on conflict, there was a great deal of miscommunication.

Full Tilt Poker $2/$4 Limit Hold'em - 6 players
The Official 2+2 Hand Converter Powered By DeucesCracked.com

Pre Flop: (1.5 SB) Hero is BTN with 9 9
3 folds, Hero raises,

Jesse says: It is my button, and I would appreciate it if you would kindly relinquish your claim to the pot.

BB responds: It is your button, and sadly you did not mis-click the fold button.

1 fold, BB calls

BB says: My hand is not terrible, and yours probably is.

Jesse responds: I see that you also did not mis-click. Very well then.

Flop: (4.5 SB) 9 7 J (2 players)
BB bets,

BB interrupts: Pear!

Jesse responds: I see that you have flopped a pear.

Hero raises,

Jesse says: I can beat your pear. At least probably most of them.

BB responds: You want a free card?

BB 3-bets,

BB says: Tough shit. I have a big pear and will mock you as you call me down with tens.

Jesse responds: I see that you are quite enamored with your pear.

Hero calls

Jesse says: Very well then, I will call you down with tens.

Villain responds: Thank you kindly.

Turn: (5.25 BB) K (2 players)
BB bets,

BB says: Again thank you for the chips.

Jesse responds: This asshole has no idea what's about to happen to him.

Hero raises,

Jesse says: Suckah!! I do not fear your pear!

BB responds: I see you can defeat a pear.

BB 3-bets,

BB says: You see though, the thing is, I have way more than a pear. I have two pear!

Jesse responds: Oh. That sucks.

Hero calls

Jesse says: I see that you have made a straight. I will do my best to fill up on the river.

BB responds: This is so awesome.

River: (11.25 BB) J (2 players)
BB bets,

BB says: That's a fantastic river card. I hope you raise me with AK.

Jesse responds: I see you still have a straight, which is unsurprising. You should have checked.

Hero raises,

Jesse says: Suckah! I filled up just like I told you I was going to. Pay me.

BB responds: I can't believe this retard just raised me with AK.

BB 3-bets,

BB says: I have jacks full.

Hero calls

Jesse says: Maybe you don't.

Final Pot: 17.25 BB
Hero mucks 9 9
BB shows J K (a full house, Jacks full of Kings)
BB wins 16.5 BB
(Rake: $3.00)