From time to time (or about half the time) I play a little 15/30 at The Oaks waiting for the 30/60 game to go. Last week, in about 2 hours, I accomplished the following feats of skill.
Some idiot opens, another limps, and I 3-bet 88. The table fish caps it out of the small blind, they both call, I call, and we see the flop 4 ways for 16 bets.
754 all clubs
The fish leads, the idiot raises, the other folds, I 3-bet, the fish calls and the idiot folds (which is just amazingly awful almost regardless of the two cards in his hands. So long as they are not blank napkins he needs to call here getting 24:1 closing the action).
6c, putting, yes Virginia, 4 to a straight flush on the board. I do not, however, have the 8 of clubs. Why would I? I bet, and the fish calls.
The fish thinks for a moment and executes the donk of death. I call because he is prone to extreme fits of spazziness. He rolls old reliable, 64 soooooted (in diamonds), for the baby full house and the win. A few hands later.
I see flop of Q84 with K8 from the small blind. The same fish is the only caller of my flop bet (we saw it only 4 ways I believe) and the board runs out with a queen and an ace. Note that on the final board of Q84-Q-A my kicker (a KING!) no longer plays. After betting the turn and getting called, and checking to river to see my opponent check, I declare "chop it up" before he can even roll his 87o, which he limped with under the gun.
A bit later and after a seat change, it folds all the way around to me in the CO and I elect to raise with the black kings because I read somewhere that they represent a solid holding. I am promptly 3-bet by a nit in the small blind (for those who might not know, a nit is a very tight player. He is nit-picky about the cards with which he'll throw chips into the pot) and 4-bet by a monstrously bad lag in the big blind. As an aside, rumor has it that this very lag played for 36 hours straight about 2 weeks ago, switching back and forth from the 15 to the 30 quite a few times. Rumor also has it that he dropped 17 racks between the two games, and that is the reason he no longer plays 30/60 and relegates himself to spewing in the 15. Anyway...I call with the kings and away we go.
The nit checks and the lag bets. I raise and the nit 3-bets. I cringe. The fact that I hold the King of spades makes it a lot harder for him to have a big flush draw. Really all he, being a nit, can have, is AQ of spades, and even that is unlikely. I pencil him in for aces but figure getting to showdown is a requiement.
The nit checks. The lag and I are visibly confused, but he declares "well I guess I have to bet". At this point I commit a fatal sin, whereby I assume that no person on the planet could possibly play aces this badly. I raise, and the nit calls two in rhythm like he knew he was going to have to. The lag calls (he almost certainly has JJ-KK at this point, although honestly I wouldn't put AT past him) and we head down the river.
They both check and I think long and hard before checking it back. I'm not even winning here very often, and a lot of hands that I beat (the flush draws...the lag could have a few more of them) can't even call a bet. A Mexican standoff ensues, as it's the nit's turn to open his cards, but again since he's a nit he doesn't really want to do so. The lag then opens his QQ and for a moment I am elated. I roll my kings, only to see the nit produce pocket aces 2 seconds later. I stare in awe at the remains of the clusterfuck that is this hand, with 16 big bets, a ten high paired board, and 3 beautiful big pairs strewn across the table, and can only shake my head and wonder when exactly I'll be allowed to win again.