And Now, a Guest Auther

Hank is awesome. A while back I used to see him everyday, and to be honest there wasn't a single situation we couldn't make light of. Then he decided to blow up his entire house in true NorCal remodel fashion, and school let out and his Mr. Mom duties became even more substantial. Now he's back in action, but I've been playing at the Oaks instead of Bay 101 and still don't manage to see him much. This email, however, warmed my heart. The text has been slightly changed to protect the truly innocent.

From: Hank
To: Jesse, Pete, The CEO, and Sweat-Master J
Subject: Epic

It's Friday and tourney week has created some great games, but it seems like a Friday night in 2004. The game is nuts, especially preflop. Cold calls abound, random limp three bets reign, the blinds always come along, large multi-way pots obviously are the norm.

WTK 2.0 has crashed and WTK 1.0 has been reloaded, but somehow lacks the turn c/r module.

The lineup: Seats 1 thru 9

Vernon
WTK
Me
Random Unknown Donkey
Tom B
Louie
Tagish Unknown Guy
Stuart (older italian looking lag tourney player)
Michael

Some good, some bad, and some ugly.

WTK has been raising preflop every 2nd or 3rd hand, from any position with a little as 63s. Stuart can open raise 64o utg, regularly three bet a single raiser with God knows what, and 3 barrels constantly. Not long ago he bought his third rack, ran it up to 2K and is back down to about $300. Vernon actually has several stacks and only started with his first $200 buy-in. Louie and the Tagish Guy are stuck and can hardly take any more of the insanity. They are playing very loose in the blinds, even for three bets. Michael is winning and playing nitty. Tom B is Tom B.

Louie has the button

Michael limps, Vernon limps, WTK raises, I call 78d, Random Unknown Donkey finds a fold, and everyone else calls to Stuarts BB who pops it, called to WTK who caps and everyone calls. For those of you following along at home that's 32 small bets.

Hey, this beauty plays well multi-way.

OK, hand ranges? Yeah, right. All the aggression came from the random players so nothing there. Michael can't have trash or small suited connectors but I can't rule out medium or small pairs since the last 100 pots have been 6+ way. WTK's cap means nothing. Louie doesn't have QQ+ or I guess AK. Unknown Taggish Guy thinks he's tricky and could. That's all I got.

A93r with one diamond.

Astute readers will noticed I flopped TWO backdoor draws. Of course someone else could have bigger diamonds giving me only one back door draw, but I can't let that little detail sidetrack me, can I? I also wonder who is more likely to call with just a backdoor diamond draw, the good players, or the bad players. Some good players don't really understand the math fully or just wouldn't do it so I conclude it's the bad players, not that this really helps me as I don't know who has what, but it flashed thru my mind on the flop.

It's checked to WTK who bets, (WTF?, raising just crossed my mind), I call hoping to get by on one bet but knowing I can go 2, and everyone called to the Louie on the button who raises. Tagish Guy now check three bets and everyone calls to WTK who calls, and I look left and Tom B is calling, but Louie gives away nothing. If they both call it looks like there will be 56 small bets and I have to call 2 more. If Louie caps there will be 64 and I will pay 3. ZOMG am I really going to do this? Could putting in 4 bets with 8 high possibly be correct? I call, as does the field. 56 small bets, hence forth known as 28 big bets, but the rest of the world knows it as $1120. That's more money than some American make in a month, and more than some in the world make in a year, but I'm a conservative and don't care about that. But I digress, again.

The turn is a FIVE, and completes the rainbow. So sweet. I now have 4 pristine outs. If some other idiot is in there with 78 I will kill him and take his money. I can call a bet, maybe a few. I'm expecting Taggish Guy to bet, and fearing WTK could raise (maybe I should have considered this before I got to this street) but everyone checks, I check, and it continues to Louie who bets, Taggish Guy calls, Stuart Calls, Michael and Vernon fold, WTK ...... Calls, I make the easiest call of my life getting 32:1 and almost closing the action, Tom B of course calls too.

So I'm guessing there is no drama or I wouldn't be telling this tale. The turn is a.....

SIX, a glorious, black, three humps with a thorn, six of clubs. I cannot fricken believe this. What have I done?!? I've taken two napkins and turned them into the stone cold nuts. I glance around, no one is looking at me, Louie is looking at Taggish Guy for his action and the checking starts, what's my play if it's checked to me, do I suddenly for the first time in the hand do something and donk or do I check raise the field? Can I possibly?

They will never see it coming. Of course I go for the glory.

And the fricken nit checked. My visions of another rack going into the pot are crushed. I'm somehow devastated while winning a 33 big bet pot.

(three seconds later) OK, I'm fine now, the pain is gone.

Stuart flips over some hand with an ace in it and before anymore hands are exposed I say "you guys are not gonna believe this" and turn my hand over. All hell breaks loose on 6th street. There are spectators I hadn't noticed. Everyone thinks I'm nuts. Louie is shooting daggers at me (on about 8th street he said he had a set of 9's). I break training and tell Louie the math was right. He grabs the A93 still on the felt and says "This was the flop" and later says "the math was right?" WTK backs me up, "it may have been".

Vernon says "it must be nice to be you" I reply "yes, in many ways"

The chatter continues, I have nothing to say, and just stack chips

For a long time.

By the time I'm done, Louie is gone. He really couldn't take it anymore.